Tag Archives: funny

Like The Pilots Say, Standby

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Standby for Day 30 of Day 30 of my writing challenge. One of my favorite responses is “standby” via text or face to face. If you know me, then you know where “standby” comes from but other people look confused when I toss the “standby” their way.

Here’s how the standby conversation goes:

On the airplane, the A flight attendant takes care of first class AND feeds the pilots. So, I’ve always loved the initial briefing at the start of any trip. Hi, my name is Dave. Hi Dave, my name is Brandy. Small chit chat ensues similar or exactly like the following; “have we flown together? Maybe? You look really familiar, so do you! Do you live in Portland? No, across the bridge in Vancouver. Cool! Then the pilots head into their office to start their checklist. It never fails, Hey Dave, do you want coffee or something besides water. “STANDBY” is his response. Then I literally standby and wait for the yes or no  response. I don’t know why this was so funny to me when I started flying. It’s so normal to me now but I love to use it outside of the airplane, in the real world. It’s funny using the “STANDBY” as your complete response with people. Give it a try. When someone asks you a question, respond via text with “Standby.” And wait for their response. 😂😎59F4103C-F831-4286-A6C0-584FE35DCA58.jpegSelf Care With A High Noon Hot Tub

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

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IMG_4236Post Red Eye Flight

I rallied to celebrate the luck of the Irish. Sheppards pie-check, guinness-check, my favorite Irish bar-check and a second location to a fancy place in the VIP section with my high tops and white v-neck-OY! check, check. Ended the night with a burger and fries right before bed. It was a good, long day.  IMG_4238Thanks for the cozy hoodie Squires!

Small Talk Is Not My Favorite Talk

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I can’t remember if I used to be good at small talk. These days, I’d rather be in uncomfortable silence than be forced to engage in small talk. Maybe, it’s the single mom thing where I have very little time to waste and zero time for bs. Maybe it’s a life thing but small talk is one of my least favorite things to do. Let’s talk about real sh*t. And if not, let’s just stand next to each other and smile…IMG_3852Real talk doesn’t have to negative and I prefer that it isn’t. There are so many juicy, positive and funny things to talk about.

Recently, after yoga I was chatting with the instructor about class. Which quickly turned into a conversation about self acceptance and self love. Which quickly turned into her sharing her recent trip to a nude beach and baring her chest. She told me how freeing it was and how good the water felt without her top on. Wow, good for you, that’s awesome! I loved you before this conversation, now I really love you. 🙂

But it get’s better… A young girl we both know came walking by and joined in on our “real talk.” She took it to the next level with all sorts of real topics and quickly. She introduced the idea that the size of his nose is likely to match the size of his…

Yep, that’s what she said. She claimed that it’s almost always true for her. I laughed and thought about it. Hmmm, maybe there is similarity?!

She also suggested that single guys carry a business card stating his “stats.’ I laughed and agreed that knowing what you’re getting into before you spend months dating would be nice. And it only seems fair. One of my favorite funny lines is, l”et’s just see what we’re working with, shall we?” I’ve actually talked about a little button that guys could wear on their tshirt or lapel that stated the info. The buttons would read SMALL, MEDIUM and LARGE. A  facebook friend recently mentioned this would be tricky because guys would be “rating” themselves. Exactly was my response to his concerned comment. That’s why there would only be three basic categories. And anyone in their right mind would understand the three categories and their “self proclaimed range.”

This is my kinda talk. The real stuff. The funny stuff. And the stuff that could eventually “make or break” a relationship. #justasyin