Category Archives: Twins

Holding Space For Myself Is My New Sport

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I remember being a little girl and having really big feelings. I can remember grown ups saying they weren’t upset but could feel their “upset” energy. Even though their words said one thing, it didn’t match their actions or energy. And if someone was upset, I remember feeling “their upset” in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know why I felt it when someone else was upset back then. However, I have a name for it now and it’s called being an empath.

Empath: a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.

I still have big feelings AND I’m still really sensitive. I think being an empath has served me well as a mama. I’m able to connect, validate and empathize with my kids in a special way.

This year, I’m learning to protect myself with limits and a boundary bubble. I’ve been setting and practicing boundaries with my kids for a couple of years. We practice respect, grace, courtesy and kind communication at home. Boundaries with adults is much harder I must admit. pShRXZjcRHKxjkicdEjB7QPost Surf Sparkle. Learning to surf, post 3 kids and in my 40’s has been humbling and beautiful all at once.

Being able to hold space for my kids is something I’m very good at. It’s natural and so automatic for me. From the second I found out I was pregnant with all of my peanuts, I’ve been able to prioritize their health and well being. And once they were born, it was on. From a sleep schedule to daily and life decisions that were in the kids’ best interest were and still are an easy choice for me.

However, I found myself agreeing to things I didn’t want to do to accommodate the other adult person’s feelings. Setting boundaries in my adult relationships is hard because I love connection and camaraderie. And I have a very fun public life and job that allows for lots of fun conversation. Sometimes, I will say to the same co-worker 10 times I don’t discuss my personal life at work. I know that people can’t help themselves and are so curious because I do have a wonderful life. But protecting my energy is one way I hold space for myself. And It’s not my job to entertain other adults when I don’t want to. I want to talk about the good stuff, like surfing and how happy and healthy my kids are. And whether or not we’ll open a present on Christmas eve? You know, important holiday traditions.

As I continue (daily) to hold space for myself with adult conversations and adult plans I agree to. I’m breathing into it. Sometimes, it still feels hard to disappoint other adults by not doing exactly what they want. But I know that modeling healthy behavior while speaking clear, open communication is the best teacher for my little people.

And when I see AND hear my kids empathize with one another and other people I know I’m doing good work. The real work. Teaching my littles from a place of integrity and love. For the first time since they were babies my kids have joined me at the the chiropractor. They always came with me as babies (annual exam, dentist, eye appointment) you name it, they came with me to my mandatory appointments. Don’t be jealous-haha! These days I can usual schedule my dentist and annuals while they’re at school. #winning

But I take them to the chiropractor and the gym here and there on purpose. So, they can see me taking care of me.

Mama needs to take care of mama so she can take care of us.                                                                        ~Quote from Blaize, Pepper and Kai on the reg 

 

 

Improvise Is A Staple Attitude At Our House

We celebrate life LOUD and PROUD at our house. The good times roll and roll quickly every.single.day. We have so much fun and get after the good times! No, I’m not supermom-I just like to have fun. And lucky for me I have 3 small kids who LOVE the fun with me. So we get out in the city a lot. We talk a lot, laugh a lot, eat a lot, adventure a lot and improvise a lot.

Yesterday, in the elevator we told one of our best little friends who’s 8 years old about improvising. She was confused because the game plan changed from the park to a hike. I asked Pepper what we do when we don’t get our first choice in life? Pepper said with a straight face and a 5 year old voice (that only a mom and speech therapist can love and understand) “we IMPOOOvise when we don’t get our furst choice. We say, it’s ok because maybeee next time we wheel get our furst choice. And if we don’t, it’s ok we let it go.  We still have fun, she said with a barbie doll smile!”

YES! That’s my girl! That’s my 5 year old miracle baby that I prayed for since I was 12 weeks pregnant.

So, now that I’m a single mom with three little kids in tow I subscribe hard to the “improvise dance.” Sometimes, it happens on a layover at work where I have 8 pairs of underwear for a 2 day trip and NO SOCKS. Oy! Or it happens a lot at the gym when the four of us hustle down the street to LA Fitness. It’s only a few blocks away so we walk. And it’s a chance for me to get my workout and shower in for the day. I pack my shower bag in a frenzy and always forget something. Today, I forgot my shower towel which has happened before. It’s not the first time people, but it’s the first time I’m talking about it. At least I have my razor and shower flip flops I tell myself. I’ve even dried off with paper towels before. #truth

It’s definitely not my choice to dry off with a hand towel at the gym but by golly I’m going to workout and shower any chance I get. Screw the shower towel, the show must go on! I just avoid eye contact hard! Haha!D3C6DC80-7E23-4997-A691-62EEE5BF80F1.pngIt’s so amazing when I hear one of my little peanuts rattle off some good grown up advice about “improvising” in the real world.

It’s a magical mom moment where I breathe in all the goodness that this little person is sharing with the world.

Big Family, Small Herd

Days are long. Years are short. Days are long. Years are short. IMG_3974.jpgKai, getting it at the playground!IMG_0494Pre bedtime snuggle with my girl band! 

Our days are bat shit crazy busy with kids stuff so I keep our afternoons/evenings very low key with a hard emphasis on the bedtime routine. Yes, Blaize and Pepper are 5 years old but they need their sleep. And so do I!

They are not the kind of kids that can stay up til 10pm and be “cool” the next day. I still plan my life around playing and chasing the fun with my kids during the day while honoring our “family sleep schedule.”

More music, more singing, more adventures and sleep, lots of beautiful sleep.

Happy sleeping my friends!

Aloha Friday Stamina

“Days are long, years are short.” I’ve heard this saying a lot lately and I get it. The days are long as a mom to 3 little kiddos. Our days start early and we go hard all day! The Fridays when I wear my mom hat all day and fly that night are the really long days. I’m not complaining but it takes some serious STAMINA. Not to mention the 3 hour time change (backwards) to the mix. My watch confirms why I’m so sleepy on these special mom Fridays-standing for 19 hours and walking 25,000 steps. Wow! IMG_5499Fresh as a daisy before boarding. Still have 9-10 hours left of socializing in me. 🙂IMG_1972_2Post flight debrief-lipstick, hat but no eye contact. I’ve got nothing left. Haha!

Experiences Over Things

I’m a minimalist at heart so being a mom to three little people has it’s organizing challenges.IMG_2076Blaize and Pepper in all their glory. Post dinner scooter party with my toms wedges and all. Haha!

Yes, I want to save the stuff you want to save. But, we collect SO MUCH STUFF every.single.day. The daily pictures, math problems and cursive practice sheets from home alone are wild.  We live in the Pearl so don’t have a garage or attic to store all the extra “stuff.” That makes it challenging to hold onto.

Years ago, a friend told me about “clipping” people. And how important it was to get rid of the blood suckers. You know, the takers. The ones that constantly take and forget to give back. These days, I’m clipping the stuff. 

As, I did my quarterly closet clean out for Blaize and Pepper, I found bags of stuff to donate. Of course they still have the rotating single socks (at least 40 single socks without matchers) and the clothes. Single socks happen in every house but are rampant in two parent homes.

But a highlight for me during the closet clean out is getting a clothing item out of the rotation! It’s either too small, too stained or too tired. That feels good. Maybe next time, I’ll throw those 40 single socks away and start fresh?

I hope this post tickled your clipping urge. Less is more if you ask me.

Hey Girl

This is the song we sing to each other!

Hey Girl by Lady Gaga. It’s a family favorite. We use pens as microphones and we get into it! We sing it loud and proud. IMG_3969Yes, they like to swing while holding my hand… There’s a timer and then I switch sides to hold hands with Blaize. This.Is.Love

Hey Girl, hey girl if you lose your way, just know that I got you! Blaize, Pepper and I sing this to each other as Kai silently watches with big eyes. Haha

Hey Girl, we can make it easy if we lift each other. We don’t need to give up on one other. Singing with my girls is so awesome!

It’s beautiful and so sweet.

I Love Boats

IMG_2787Steering the catamaran in Honolulu

Yep, I love boats. That’s all.