Tag Archives: ilovemykids

Seeking Balance As A Single Mom

I didn’t know that life balance while being a mom would be so complicated. I didn’t know that life balance while being a single mom would be SO COMPLICATED. There’s the normal mom guilt and then there’s the single mom guilt. Which goes above and beyond.E33A826D-4DBD-434B-ADC3-57F09A8E9A05.jpegTaking the streetcar to Aunt Tiff’s birthday. This is me operating at 100.IMG_3938Working and making lemonade. 

Nobody sets out to be a single mom but stuff happens…And I wouldn’t pick this situation for my kids EVER but it happened. So I will make the most of it. Being a single mom to three little kids is like a forced break of self care. It’s a few days a month where I’m forced to look after myself for a bit. It’s really strange to go from 100-zero overnight. And it doesn’t get easier just more familiar. Oh yeah, these are the days where I might sleep in, workout and take time to make myself food that I want. Oh hey self care days. “I see you and I’m trying to get along with you. Let’s make the most of it, shall we?”IMG_4038Mom Day-Just woke up, rushing to hot yoga. Wearing Kai’s backpack on the front so I don’t forget to drop it by his school after yoga. All of this happens before I fly to Maui later that day. This is a day where I’m standing for 20 hours. #momlife

I will continue to teach my kids how to improvise and make lemonade because I think it’s important in life. Whether I like it or not, the show must go on.

So to all you moms out there, single or not, GOOD JOB! Keep going, and keep taking care of the mother ship.

People Love Dogs In The Pearl!

I’ve known for awhile that people in the pearl love dogs! It’s a thing. And when you have a dog in the pearl, you’re part of it. But when you have kids you’re on the outside. But when you have kids and a DOG you are golden. It cracks me up the kind of attention people will show when you have a dog in the pearl. Even our grumpy cleaning lady in the building busted into a huge smile today and wanted to chit chat about our dog.F0ECF848-3E0D-4A06-B6F9-5A916B38ABCCShiver licking his chops.7B24EE76-53BF-4BB5-BA8C-2CD865C3F415Shiver’s best friends (Ziggy, Leroy and Shiver) all lined up for a treat at camp Mimi

Yesterday a woman dropped to her knees in the elevator to pet and love on Shiver. All three of my kids were trying to talk to her but she was obsessed with Shiver, our dog. I joked that Shiver was my 4th child so he was in heaven with her loves. While she was petting Shiver, Kai was talking to her about multiplication fractions while Pepper and Blaize simultaneously wanted to know about her glasses-could she see without them? Right before she got out of the elevator she asked if Shiver was an ESP? Uhh, what’s that I asked? She said is Shiver an “emotional support pet?” Haha! I laughed and said “what do you think?!” as the elevator door closed and Pepper yelled “See ya next time!”

Kids are alright in the pearl but dogs are the cream of the crop in this neck of the woods.  Haha!

Soft And Hard

Soft and hard seems like the best of both worlds doesn’t it? It kinda does to me-strong but sweet. Smart but funny. Nice but adventurous. Passionate but reasonable. It’s a blend of opposites. IMG_4552Throwing my buddy a cold drink last summer. It was a magic THROW if I do say so myself. 🙂 And yes he caught it. 

I think the challenge is in the transition between the soft and hard. It’s the moments between the soft and hard. It’s the grey area, the new stuff or the things that don’t have a “title” yet. That’s where the magic happens. It’s the space in between, the transition part. Holding that space and breathing through it is the key. Not avoiding it. Not getting on amazon to ignore it. Not even hitting the gym to distract it. But literally, watching it like a wave come and go. One of my favorite authors, Eckart Tolle calls it living in the present moment.

I tell my three little kids that one of the secrets to life is learning how calm yourself down naturally and fairly quickly. With a 7 year old little boy and 5 year old identical girl twins, we get to practice this a lot. 🙂

**Life is tossing me a lot of the magic these days and I’m grabbing it by the face. 

Sending love and resilience to you and your people.

Big Family, Small Herd

Days are long. Years are short. Days are long. Years are short. IMG_3974.jpgKai, getting it at the playground!IMG_0494Pre bedtime snuggle with my girl band! 

Our days are bat shit crazy busy with kids stuff so I keep our afternoons/evenings very low key with a hard emphasis on the bedtime routine. Yes, Blaize and Pepper are 5 years old but they need their sleep. And so do I!

They are not the kind of kids that can stay up til 10pm and be “cool” the next day. I still plan my life around playing and chasing the fun with my kids during the day while honoring our “family sleep schedule.”

More music, more singing, more adventures and sleep, lots of beautiful sleep.

Happy sleeping my friends!

Marinating My Pregnant Belly

The good news is I have this babymama blog and I am the writer and keeper of it-all of it. 
Let’s just leave it at that, shall we.

Marination

In the beginning of my pregnancy with baby Kai, I wondered about stretch marks. Okay AND everything else.  Most of my friends had an idea or two about stretch marks.  A lot of my friends with kids under five walked away without stretch marks.  Randomly, my friends with kids older than five seemed to have stretch marks.  Coincidence, maybe.  But definitely interesting.IMG_26888 months pregnant with Kai, black line and all. 

After doing my own research, I think it’s a crap shoot.  Research suggests that stretch marks are primarily genetic. If that’s true then I’m screwed because it runs in my family. However, the rate at which your belly grows along with nutrition, general health and skin tone can play a factor.

So, I started “lubing” my belly with cocoa butter and shea butter because I heard these are the best natural lubricants.  There really are a million products that claim to prevent stretch marks.  And they are not cheap.  I doubt there is one product which actually prevents stretch marks.  Which is why I chose to use natural oils.  They claim to moisturize and help prevent stretch marks while soothing your stretching skin.  One product I like is called Wild Carrot Herbals from New Seasons and Whole Foods.  It has olive oil, cocoa butter, shea butter, vitamin E and even St. John’s wort along with a few other special ingredients.  Like anything else in life, there’s no guarantee but I figured lubing up couldn’t hurt.  At the very least it minimizes the itching from my growing belly and body.  And it feels good to pamper my skin.

The funny part is that the die hard marinators I knew were two prominent Portland yoga teachers.  They both openly shared their pregnancy/stretch mark experience with me.  One Portland yoga instructor said she gained 60 pounds with her son and “lubed up” five times a day.  And, no stretch marks.  Wow, that sounds amazing.  The second instructor in Portland said that she used oil called Mother’s Special Blend found at Whole Foods.  She would lube up from head to toe and cruise around naked for 20 minutes or so two to three times a day.  She said she didn’t get any stretch marks either.  Lubing up 2-5 times a day and letting it soak in sounded like a big time commitment to me.

So, I’ve been doing what’s realistic for me.  I’m lubing up once a day and try to do the head to toe lube job because it feels so good.  I can’t say I do it everyday but definitely get the belly on a daily basis.  It feels like I’m giving my skin a drink of water.  I like to sing “Marin-nnnnaaation” when I lube up and scoot around naked.

Bottom line is that all things being equal, I’d rather not get stretch marks but know it’s the smallest trade-off for the miracle of life.  To date, I’m packing 30 pounds and still stripe free.  However, I know those victory stripes can show up any ole time so we shall see.

I would love to hear your tips or stories about lubing up?

Please leave a comment below.  Thanks for sharing!

Published March 30, 2010

March 24th, 2018 Update-I still love to lube up and “marinate” after my shower and cruise around naked. Old habits die hard. Haha!

Aloha Friday Stamina

“Days are long, years are short.” I’ve heard this saying a lot lately and I get it. The days are long as a mom to 3 little kiddos. Our days start early and we go hard all day! The Fridays when I wear my mom hat all day and fly that night are the really long days. I’m not complaining but it takes some serious STAMINA. Not to mention the 3 hour time change (backwards) to the mix. My watch confirms why I’m so sleepy on these special mom Fridays-standing for 19 hours and walking 25,000 steps. Wow! IMG_5499Fresh as a daisy before boarding. Still have 9-10 hours left of socializing in me. 🙂IMG_1972_2Post flight debrief-lipstick, hat but no eye contact. I’ve got nothing left. Haha!

Experiences Over Things

I’m a minimalist at heart so being a mom to three little people has it’s organizing challenges.IMG_2076Blaize and Pepper in all their glory. Post dinner scooter party with my toms wedges and all. Haha!

Yes, I want to save the stuff you want to save. But, we collect SO MUCH STUFF every.single.day. The daily pictures, math problems and cursive practice sheets from home alone are wild.  We live in the Pearl so don’t have a garage or attic to store all the extra “stuff.” That makes it challenging to hold onto.

Years ago, a friend told me about “clipping” people. And how important it was to get rid of the blood suckers. You know, the takers. The ones that constantly take and forget to give back. These days, I’m clipping the stuff. 

As, I did my quarterly closet clean out for Blaize and Pepper, I found bags of stuff to donate. Of course they still have the rotating single socks (at least 40 single socks without matchers) and the clothes. Single socks happen in every house but are rampant in two parent homes.

But a highlight for me during the closet clean out is getting a clothing item out of the rotation! It’s either too small, too stained or too tired. That feels good. Maybe next time, I’ll throw those 40 single socks away and start fresh?

I hope this post tickled your clipping urge. Less is more if you ask me.