Category Archives: momlife

Surf Mama

One of my favorite things of 2019 was surfing. Long board surfing. VOLUME. Long and thick, light to carry and easy to paddle. I say this every time I get to the surf shop. I want a 9’2-9’6″ (longboard) that’s light to carry, easy to paddle with lots of volume. One of the surf guys likes to say, girrrl you want too much as they shake their head and laugh. Well the good news is that I know what I want (that’s half the battle) Took me a year to figure out what I like. Trying a new surfboard every time I sure is going to make me a better surfer (that’s what they keep telling me) haha! But, I’m ready to find a board of my own. Something that I can get cozy with. Riding a new board is exciting and a little wild because when I stand up I get to know how much rub she’s gunna give me. Sometimes, the rub is just right but sometimes it’s not enough and we struggle through the surf session. C0DAC492-0958-4373-A253-1220FA013E7B9’6 Dick Brewer longboard in Waikiki

The best part about this surf day was when my iwatch popped off and I found it with my feet! Oh my grapes! For the first couple of months of surfing, I worried about my watch coming off while surfing. It’s never been an issue until this day. I yelled to my surf buddy near by, “can you dive?!” What, he yelled back as another wave was coming toward us. I lost my watch-can you dive? He said try and get it with your feet. So I did. I held onto my board and dropped down a couple of feet as the wave came over head, felt something and grabbed it with my toes. I pulled my foot out of the water and sure enough it was my watch. I was so stinky happy and proud of myself. I started cheering for myself because I was giddy. I’m so tough! Yes! I did it all by myself. Haha!

FtkPey3bSNGcZtFax1wk7wSo happy to come in with my watch 🙂

Yoga toes baby!

Surfing with my iwatch is so fun! So cool to record my wave speed and distance along with my daily activity credit.

I want to know, do you surf with a watch?

Super Mom Compliment

I’m a doer. A worker bee. A fast walker if you will. Consciously trying to walk slower. This is a lot of effort. Naturally, I’m a high. Not to be confused with an over functioner. I don’t think I’m an “over functioner” at all. To me, a high functioner handles it. Life throws a frisbee (while I’m making dinner, doing laundry and chatting with my 3 kids) I catch that frisbee with my lipstick on. I’ve always been a high functioner but didn’t have a name for it. I used to say I have a lot of energy. And I do have a lot of energy and am so grateful I do.yc0gwFBLQe+rZlxkFTdT9ASoaking in all these happy smiles 

People have been calling me SUPERMOM to my face for years. It used to frustrate me because like all moms, I used to feel like I could or should do more. The feeling creeps back here and there but my attitude and outlook have changed. Like most moms, I’m doing the best I can. fullsizeoutput_6543.jpegMy FULL SPEED identical twin girls running toward me 🙂 ydAq+5iTQeW7TVIx62cZGQPracticing generosity at the Dollar Tree 

These days, I’m letting the supermom compliment sink in. I soak it up as a compliment. It took a minute but I’m doing it. Surprisingly, the supermom comment comes from every avenue of my life. It could be a surf instructor in Hawaii who knows I have kids but cheers me on while I paddle like crazy to catch that wave. Go supermom! Or the dollar tree cashier who is missing teeth in the front row who sincerely calls me a supermom as he asks “are they all yours?” Yep, this is my herd I say with a giggle. He has big eyes but I feel his acknowledgement for bringing my 3 kids into the dollar tree to buy Christmas presents for each other. Lots of juicy conversation within my herd as we stand in line to pay-each of them with their 3 gifts and 3 bucks. 🙂

I feel like a Super Lucky Mom! I love my babies!

Integrity Is Cool

68B24081-E926-456F-980C-058ED3F614EDFamily photo while ice skating and reading 🙂

Since we moved across the river we drive to school. Our 5min walk to school offered a different experience. Nice because of the fresh air before school. But didn’t allow for the deep talks that driving to school provides. It’s a whole different morning routine for us. And the car conversations are priceless. Today we talked about “integrity.” One of our family values and one of my favorite qualities in a person. heart

It started by me asking if anyone knows what integrity means?? Blaize and Pepper raised their hands in the backseat of our tiny kia soul while making moaning sounds while raising their hands. (Basically saying Call on me!) I called on Blaize first and said, what do you think integrity means?? Blaize said  without hesitation. ‘”integrity means to be on time.” Hmmm, being on time is a very important quality and part of having integrity. But does anyone else have an another idea about what integrity means? Pepper is raising her hand and moaning with a “pick me pick me” moaning sound. I called on Pepper and she confidently stated that integrity means “not being late” Hmmm, I get your points about being on time and how that represents respect and is a family value. But I’m looking for a different definition. Kai didn’t even want to try…I said very calmly listen because integrity is a very important quality to mama. You could have heard a pin drop. They were so quiet and intrigued. I said “integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.” Then I gave a few age appropriate examples of being a person with high integrity.

I found this definition after school drop off:

Integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. Having integrity means doing the right thing in a reliable way. It’s a personality trait that we admire, since it means a person has a moral compass that doesn’t waver.

All three kids were mulling over our integrity talk right up until we kissed and hugged goodbye for another school day.

What car conversations are you having with your littles? Love to hear the stories because there’s always something to talk about especially with my three buttercups.

 

Surf Mom

C0DAC492-0958-4373-A253-1220FA013E7BYep. This is me. I’m almost 45 years old.  This is a 9″6 Dick Brewer longboard. I know it looks HUGE. But it treats me well. paddles nice and floats me like a lifejacket. All comfortable benefits when you’re a mom who learns to surf in your 40’s.

I’m a single mom to three young kids. And yes I had all 3 kids out of my own body. This is a question that people (strangers love to ask me) Recently, our female captain asked me if I had all 3 kids? I said yes. Then she went on to ask if I had all of them out of my own body? Yep, I sure did. Then she asked if I did IVF? Nope, they were all natural AND planned. She was so baffled. Thank god, the first officer was done using the bathroom so I could leave the cockpit and quit the 20 personal questions with a female stranger. The questions aren’t usually so intense for a 2-3 minute bathroom break but the questions can be rampant.

JSbBPDElTqu04aZ17CHikQ.jpgWhen the pilots need a break to use the bathroom, the A flight attendant has to enter the cockpit to ensure two people are always in the cockpit. I don’t mind giving breaks to our pilots because they’re people too and need use the bathroom and stand up and stretch their legs. But, the 20 personal questions in 3 minutes is always a bit awkward for me. Plus I’m wearing my 100% polyester flight attendant dress that’s about as flattering as a pair of old navy sweats. Holy crap if she saw my surf picture above she might never stop the personal questions. Haha!

 

I must give the friendly vibe like ask me anything. Haha! I do love the honest conversations especially when they’re interesting for both of us.

Do you have awkward conversations at work or in real life because you are healthy? Love to hear your stories! Connecting with real people and real moms is one of my favorite things.

It’s Hard To Do It All

This is my new favorite line when I connect with another real parent. I find it hard to relate to parents who talk a big talk with their t-shirt that shouts GOOD VIBES ONLY and #Blessed when they have 4 kids only 1-2 years apart in age and homeschool. Wow! That’s amazing. I suppose if I had a full time housekeeper mama’s helper I could dig into some of that but for now the housework alone feels like a full time gig. I’m a hands on full time mama bear to three young people who wants to be the very best mom to my little peanuts. They’re only 2 1/2 years apart (7,7 and 9 1/2) which can be ideal and hectic all at once.IMG_1577.JPGFamily Christmas photo 2019 

I don’t have time or energy for boring surface talk. When new parents start to talk about how easy it is to work full time, with 3 or more, young kids with or without a partner. I listen and then I hesitate. I find myself thinking in my head “huh, that’s interesting…” I don’t know that I would call that situation “easy.” These days, I hear this sort of story usually from a woman and my age. My steady response is usually “oh wow” huh? with a courtesy smile.

For me these sort of surface conversations usually happen at work. I’m lucky because I get to meet and work with all sorts of people. The people, the trips and the experiences are always different as a flight attendant. Usually, when I toss out new favorite one liners like “it’s hard to do it all!” That’s when things can take a drastic turn for the better. It’s when they (mom or dad or both) look me in the eyes and say as they shake their head you’re not kidding. It’s so hard to do it all. Then we click like a couple of high school kids talking about real life stuff within the first two minutes of meeting each other. I love it when this happens.

People assume that being healthy and in shape is easy for me because I do it. Not. At All. But I understand the thought process other people have. In 2005, I qualified for the Boston Marathon and always thought that the fastest runners didn’t suffer as much as the 5-6 hour finishers. I had a conversation with someone after a spin class about 15 years ago about distance running and suffering mentally and physically during marathons. It forever changed the way I thought about fitness training and now being a good parent. Basically, it’s hard to do it all and the 2 hour marathon finishers suffer just as much as the 6 hour finishers but for 4 hours less time! Even though they’re the best, fittest and fastest they still suffer just like us commoners.

bbc1WQU9QWCvzpWWPvthpQMe, grabbing a bite to eat in the jetway in San Diego before boarding. Nothing like some good ole (JET FUEL~fresh air for us) Luckily this was one of those trips where i clicked with the real people and we had the good talks 🙂

Sure, certain things “might be easier like having a full time nanny or a daily housekeeper to tackle the housework and help with the daily grind. But the challenges that come with being a good parent to three little humans as a single parent can be tiring. And trying to do it all can be hard. Do less and feel more is my current motto.

Currently, practicing good self care while being the best mama I can to my 3 favorite humans has my full attention.

Holding Space For Myself Is My New Sport

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I remember being a little girl and having really big feelings. I can remember grown ups saying they weren’t upset but could feel their “upset” energy. Even though their words said one thing, it didn’t match their actions or energy. And if someone was upset, I remember feeling “their upset” in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know why I felt it when someone else was upset back then. However, I have a name for it now and it’s called being an empath.

Empath: a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.

I still have big feelings AND I’m still really sensitive. I think being an empath has served me well as a mama. I’m able to connect, validate and empathize with my kids in a special way.C0DAC492-0958-4373-A253-1220FA013E7BPre Surf pose where I’m nervous and excited all at once. This 9’6 Dick Brewer surf board and I got along really well. 🙂

This year, I’m learning to protect myself with limits and a boundary bubble. I’ve been setting and practicing boundaries with my kids for a couple of years. We practice respect, grace, courtesy and kind communication at home. Boundaries with adults is much harder I must admit. pShRXZjcRHKxjkicdEjB7QPost Surf Sparkle. Learning to surf, post 3 kids and in my 40’s has been humbling and beautiful all at once.

Being able to hold space for my kids is something I’m very good at. It’s natural and so automatic for me. From the second I found out I was pregnant with all of my peanuts, I’ve been able to prioritize their health and well being. And once they were born, it was on. From a sleep schedule to daily and life decisions that were in the kids’ best interest were and still are an easy choice for me.

However, I found myself agreeing to things I didn’t want to do to accommodate the other adult person’s feelings. Setting boundaries in my adult relationships is hard because I love connection and camaraderie. And I have a very fun public life and job that allows for lots of fun conversation. Sometimes, I will say to the same co-worker 10 times I don’t discuss my personal life at work. I know that people can’t help themselves and are so curious because I do have a wonderful life. But protecting my energy is one way I hold space for myself. And It’s not my job to entertain other adults when I don’t want to. I want to talk about the good stuff, like surfing and how happy and healthy my kids are. And whether or not we’ll open a present on Christmas eve? You know, important holiday traditions.

As I continue (daily) to hold space for myself with adult conversations and adult plans I agree to. I’m breathing into it. Sometimes, it still feels hard to disappoint other adults by not doing exactly what they want. But I know that modeling healthy behavior while speaking clear, open communication is the best teacher for my little people.

And when I see AND hear my kids empathize with one another and other people I know I’m doing good work. The real work. Teaching my littles from a place of integrity and love. For the first time since they were babies my kids have joined me at the the chiropractor. They always came with me as babies (annual exam, dentist, eye appointment) you name it, they came with me to my mandatory appointments. Don’t be jealous-haha! These days I can usual schedule my dentist and annuals while they’re at school. #winning

But I take them to the chiropractor and the gym here and there on purpose. So, they can see me taking care of me.

Mama needs to take care of mama so she can take care of us.                                                                        ~Quote from Blaize, Pepper and Kai on the reg 

 

 

I’m Back

It’s been almost a year since I wrote a blog post. And like you I’m saying wow, what a year. Well, when you’re a mama bear to 3 amazing humans life gets busy in a way that you can’t explain. And also, I’ve been doing incredible self care and healthy attachment learning with podcasts, books and conversation. It’s like I have a crush on secure attachment. I love talking about it, learning about it and providing it for my 3 little people.

In addition, to my learning and self care I’ve implemented boundaries for the first time in my life. Instead of accommodating other adult people, I’m consciously choosing to accommodate myself and my 3 kids and then go from there. Modeling healthy boundaries and healthy choices and behavior instead of just talking about it has been the real workout.

I’ve missed writing and sharing and am ready to dive back in. Let the good times roll. 14EDBC30-F260-4ACC-B3A1-CD419277C4DB.jpgLast weekend, flying to Cali to meet our new little baby niece