Tag Archives: love

Super Mom Compliment

I’m a doer. A worker bee. A fast walker if you will. Consciously trying to walk slower. This is a lot of effort. Naturally, I’m a high. Not to be confused with an over functioner. I don’t think I’m an “over functioner” at all. To me, a high functioner handles it. Life throws a frisbee (while I’m making dinner, doing laundry and chatting with my 3 kids) I catch that frisbee with my lipstick on. I’ve always been a high functioner but didn’t have a name for it. I used to say I have a lot of energy. And I do have a lot of energy and am so grateful I do.yc0gwFBLQe+rZlxkFTdT9ASoaking in all these happy smiles 

People have been calling me SUPERMOM to my face for years. It used to frustrate me because like all moms, I used to feel like I could or should do more. The feeling creeps back here and there but my attitude and outlook have changed. Like most moms, I’m doing the best I can. fullsizeoutput_6543.jpegMy FULL SPEED identical twin girls running toward me 🙂 ydAq+5iTQeW7TVIx62cZGQPracticing generosity at the Dollar Tree 

These days, I’m letting the supermom compliment sink in. I soak it up as a compliment. It took a minute but I’m doing it. Surprisingly, the supermom comment comes from every avenue of my life. It could be a surf instructor in Hawaii who knows I have kids but cheers me on while I paddle like crazy to catch that wave. Go supermom! Or the dollar tree cashier who is missing teeth in the front row who sincerely calls me a supermom as he asks “are they all yours?” Yep, this is my herd I say with a giggle. He has big eyes but I feel his acknowledgement for bringing my 3 kids into the dollar tree to buy Christmas presents for each other. Lots of juicy conversation within my herd as we stand in line to pay-each of them with their 3 gifts and 3 bucks. 🙂

I feel like a Super Lucky Mom! I love my babies!

Integrity Is Cool

68B24081-E926-456F-980C-058ED3F614EDFamily photo while ice skating and reading 🙂

Since we moved across the river we drive to school. Our 5min walk to school offered a different experience. Nice because of the fresh air before school. But didn’t allow for the deep talks that driving to school provides. It’s a whole different morning routine for us. And the car conversations are priceless. Today we talked about “integrity.” One of our family values and one of my favorite qualities in a person. heart

It started by me asking if anyone knows what integrity means?? Blaize and Pepper raised their hands in the backseat of our tiny kia soul while making moaning sounds while raising their hands. (Basically saying Call on me!) I called on Blaize first and said, what do you think integrity means?? Blaize said  without hesitation. ‘”integrity means to be on time.” Hmmm, being on time is a very important quality and part of having integrity. But does anyone else have an another idea about what integrity means? Pepper is raising her hand and moaning with a “pick me pick me” moaning sound. I called on Pepper and she confidently stated that integrity means “not being late” Hmmm, I get your points about being on time and how that represents respect and is a family value. But I’m looking for a different definition. Kai didn’t even want to try…I said very calmly listen because integrity is a very important quality to mama. You could have heard a pin drop. They were so quiet and intrigued. I said “integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.” Then I gave a few age appropriate examples of being a person with high integrity.

I found this definition after school drop off:

Integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. Having integrity means doing the right thing in a reliable way. It’s a personality trait that we admire, since it means a person has a moral compass that doesn’t waver.

All three kids were mulling over our integrity talk right up until we kissed and hugged goodbye for another school day.

What car conversations are you having with your littles? Love to hear the stories because there’s always something to talk about especially with my three buttercups.

 

I’m Back

It’s been almost a year since I wrote a blog post. And like you I’m saying wow, what a year. Well, when you’re a mama bear to 3 amazing humans life gets busy in a way that you can’t explain. And also, I’ve been doing incredible self care and healthy attachment learning with podcasts, books and conversation. It’s like I have a crush on secure attachment. I love talking about it, learning about it and providing it for my 3 little people.

In addition, to my learning and self care I’ve implemented boundaries for the first time in my life. Instead of accommodating other adult people, I’m consciously choosing to accommodate myself and my 3 kids and then go from there. Modeling healthy boundaries and healthy choices and behavior instead of just talking about it has been the real workout.

I’ve missed writing and sharing and am ready to dive back in. Let the good times roll. 14EDBC30-F260-4ACC-B3A1-CD419277C4DB.jpgLast weekend, flying to Cali to meet our new little baby niece 

Living Yoga Is Amazing

This was my second time participating in the Living Yoga yogathon and it didn’t disappoint. Living Yoga is amazing. It’s a non profit organization in Portland that brings yoga to underserved communities. There are 35 classes a week offering yoga classes to people in mental hospitals, jails and other trauma induced places.

What an amazing rehabilitation idea! Bring yoga to people that really need it. I love this! We heard two intense stories before class tonight that were very touching. One was a woman serving prison time and the other was a man serving a 7 year sentence. Both people were at very low points in life and found yoga while in jail through Living Yoga. Now they are die hard yogi’s and so grateful that they found yoga when they did. Imagine if everyone did yoga and they taught it in schools. 4D47BDB8-7A71-4500-823E-4360DAE7F63B.pngYoga Love

I love my yoga so much. Right now, I’m into the hot yoga but any yoga is so good. It makes my heart sing to think about Living Yoga giving people yoga who might not ordinarily get it. What a great non-profit, and one of my favorites!

Yoga is love my friends.

People Love Dogs In The Pearl!

I’ve known for awhile that people in the pearl love dogs! It’s a thing. And when you have a dog in the pearl, you’re part of it. But when you have kids you’re on the outside. But when you have kids and a DOG you are golden. It cracks me up the kind of attention people will show when you have a dog in the pearl. Even our grumpy cleaning lady in the building busted into a huge smile today and wanted to chit chat about our dog.F0ECF848-3E0D-4A06-B6F9-5A916B38ABCCShiver licking his chops.7B24EE76-53BF-4BB5-BA8C-2CD865C3F415Shiver’s best friends (Ziggy, Leroy and Shiver) all lined up for a treat at camp Mimi

Yesterday a woman dropped to her knees in the elevator to pet and love on Shiver. All three of my kids were trying to talk to her but she was obsessed with Shiver, our dog. I joked that Shiver was my 4th child so he was in heaven with her loves. While she was petting Shiver, Kai was talking to her about multiplication fractions while Pepper and Blaize simultaneously wanted to know about her glasses-could she see without them? Right before she got out of the elevator she asked if Shiver was an ESP? Uhh, what’s that I asked? She said is Shiver an “emotional support pet?” Haha! I laughed and said “what do you think?!” as the elevator door closed and Pepper yelled “See ya next time!”

Kids are alright in the pearl but dogs are the cream of the crop in this neck of the woods.  Haha!

In A Love Relationship With Yoga

Yes, I’m in a committed, love relationship with yoga and it’s going great. We like to see each other everyday but sometimes we have to miss a few days. It only makes our reunions that much sweeter when we do see each other. If I could I would see hot yoga everyday but I’ll take what I can get. IMG_4150.jpgChilling in Maui post run and yogaIMG_2893_2Teeny, tiny smile post hot yoga class. Happy on the inside but totally wiped out.

I don’t always want to do yoga or feel like I have time to do the yoga. But love doesn’t flourish without  lots of quality time and attention so I make the time.

I’m not flexible at all…And hot yoga feels really awful for part or all of the class every.single.time. Yesterday I ate a cafe yum bowl about 45 minutes before hot yoga and regretted it throughly for the entire class. What you eat, drink, don’t drink can affect your hot yoga class with the intensity of a full body regret.

How I Ended Up On a Reality TV Show

The Big Choice Makes A Comeback In My Life A Decade Later.

So, I’ve always been a truth seeker. Sometimes even too much. I might even call myself an over-sharer. In an effort to connect with other people I tend to dig deep while sharing and talking. Usually, it’s a good experience and an interesting conversation. However, my stint on the reality tv show was not something positive or something I wanted to share with anyone.

Joe MillionaireBrandy Sullivan-Joe Millionair

Posing in front of the castle outside of Paris. It was 2002 and I was 27 years old.

Back story: I was on a furlough from being a flight attendant post 9/11. I was living in LA, teaching spin classes and waiting tables at Big World Restaurant on Main Street in Santa Monica.  I lived in a cute, little bungalow in Santa Monica right by the promenade with girlfriends. Life was oh so simple. One night I waited on the producers of a dating reality tv show. We instantly connected and got along really well. They convinced to come to an interview for an upcoming reality tv show.  At that time, reality tv was The Real World on MTV and the Bachelor had just started to take off. I hadn’t watched the bachelor so had no idea what I was getting into. I also had zero interest in watching other people date on tv. It seemed boring and the little bit I did hear about the girls seemed caddy and pretentious. Two of my least favorite characteristics.

Back to how I got roped into auditioning for a dating reality tv show when I was 27.

The producers asked me 3 basic questions:

1. Do you like to travel? Yeah! I love it! After being a flight attendant for Northwest Airlines for 3 years prior, I was no stranger to the joy of travel.

2. Are you single? Yeah, super single and on a 6 month no date dry spell to be specific.

3. Would you like to go on an all expense paid trip for a month or longer? Twist my arm-yes please!

I immediately pictured myself on a beach in Taihiti working on my even tan and snorkeling everyday. Or maybe sipping americanos in a cute cafe in Europe reading my Eckhart Tolle Book, A New Earth.  My mind was exploding with awesome travel fantasies.

Needless to say, none of them happened. Yes, I stayed for a week in the castle with 12 other actresses. There was a lot of sitting around waiting and more waiting at all hours of the night. Yes, we left our microphones on in the bathroom, while running outside and any other time. Yes, we woke up to large tv cameras in our face. Startling to say the least.

The producers would set us up to not get along everyday. It was being a kids and playing duck, duck goose and the snowball all at the same time. One day they brought in evening gowns all different sizes and styles. Then they let us loose in the room with the dresses to find a dress to wear. You had to choose a dress but there was one of each kind and no repeat sizes. AWKWARD. Yes, this is how it felt the whole time.

What I remember the most from being on that show is feeling trapped in a divey Best Western hotel in Paris. With no access to the outside world and a bodyguard outside the hotel so you couldn’t step outside for 3 weeks. There were 8 of us girls that got the boot after the second cut. After being driven away in the middle of the night and dumped at the ghetto Best Western, we had to go everywhere in a group to make sure no one “talked” about the show. Secrecy is a big clause for reality tv. No workouts, limited fresh air, McDonalds everyday and no contact with friends and family or the news. It gives me goose bumps to even write about it. It was SO UNCOMFORTABLE! I remember running the stairs in the 6 story hotel and doing a ton of push ups and sit ups in my room to stay sane. There were a couple of “handlers,” an onsite psychologist and a bodyguard who made sure we NEVER went outside. The bodyguard was like a rent a cop but bigger and super creepy.

Back Story cont. While waiting on the tv producers, I told them that dating one guy with lots of other girls wasn’t my style. I was more traditional than that, one guy and one girl is more my style. Perfect, they said we need someone traditional. I said I’m from Oregon. Even better, they said! They continued to talk about the travel and how perfect I’d be. At the very least come to the first interview and then see how it goes. I talked myself into the interview because I figured I could decide later if I even made it. Well, the interviews went well over a couple of days. Then we had 3 days to get ready and show up at the airport with our passport. Turns out, there would be 20 girls and one guy in Paris. 15 were aspiring actresses and models, only 5 of us including me were “real people.”

Spoiler Alert: Being on the show was very uncomfortable and so invasive. It wasn’t anything how I pictured and a lot worse. After the month abroad in the Best Western, I returned home and felt really bad. The trip wasn’t anything like the producers that I met explained to me. They had really cool people do the auditions and casting so you think it will be okay. But, the cool, casting people don’t go on the trip, they just rope you into the deal. By the way, the show was supposed to be called “THE BIG CHOICE” not Joe Millionaire.

When I got home I felt shame and so much embarrassment from being on the show. The pilot commercial aired during the superbowl which is where everyone heard the “new name” and the theme of the show. Oh my god, that was not what I signed up for…

The way that reality tv show worked back then was the opposite of reality and a high drama story that the producers created. Turned out that Evan Marriott (the average Joe) was as dumb as nails, with icky long, greasy hair and had a girlfriend waiting for him back in Santa Monica…

Funny how life works. It’s rarely what you expected, sometimes it’s better and often times it’s NOT AT ALL WHAT IT SEEMED.

That my friends is how I ended up on the Joe Millionaire reality tv show. It’s taken fifteen years to talk about it without the shame face. Like Brene Brown says, shame can’t exist with truth, light and vulnerability.

The funny part is most people thought it was really cool and were surprised I didn’t want to talk about it. Back then, I usually said it was really weird and not what I signed for. You never know what’s going on behind the scenes on tv and in life. So f*ck the secrecy, silence and judgement. At least I did it and won’t ever wonder what it would’ve been like. No wondering here. Not at all. Haha!