Tag Archives: love

Soft And Hard

Soft and hard seems like the best of both worlds doesn’t it? It kinda does to me-strong but sweet. Smart but funny. Nice but adventurous. Passionate but reasonable. It’s a blend of opposites. IMG_4552Throwing my buddy a cold drink last summer. It was a magic THROW if I do say so myself. 🙂 And yes he caught it. 

I think the challenge is in the transition between the soft and hard. It’s the moments between the soft and hard. It’s the grey area, the new stuff or the things that don’t have a “title” yet. That’s where the magic happens. It’s the space in between, the transition part. Holding that space and breathing through it is the key. Not avoiding it. Not getting on amazon to ignore it. Not even hitting the gym to distract it. But literally, watching it like a wave come and go. One of my favorite authors, Eckart Tolle calls it living in the present moment.

I tell my three little kids that one of the secrets to life is learning how calm yourself down naturally and fairly quickly. With a 7 year old little boy and 5 year old identical girl twins, we get to practice this a lot. 🙂

**Life is tossing me a lot of the magic these days and I’m grabbing it by the face. 

Sending love and resilience to you and your people.

Big Family, Small Herd

Days are long. Years are short. Days are long. Years are short. IMG_3974.jpgKai, getting it at the playground!IMG_0494Pre bedtime snuggle with my girl band! 

Our days are bat shit crazy busy with kids stuff so I keep our afternoons/evenings very low key with a hard emphasis on the bedtime routine. Yes, Blaize and Pepper are 5 years old but they need their sleep. And so do I!

They are not the kind of kids that can stay up til 10pm and be “cool” the next day. I still plan my life around playing and chasing the fun with my kids during the day while honoring our “family sleep schedule.”

More music, more singing, more adventures and sleep, lots of beautiful sleep.

Happy sleeping my friends!

Maui I Love You

I love my layovers, especially my Maui layovers. I was so lucky this past weekend with this little guy. He came right up to me, popped his head out of the water and it was love at first sight. IMG_4167ChillingIMG_4162Friendly, little guy saying hiIMG_4163Hard eye contact. Haha!IMG_E4176And, he’s off.

Wow this was the best turtle encounter I’ve ever had in Maui. 

Maui, I love you!

 

Hey Girl

This is the song we sing to each other!

Hey Girl by Lady Gaga. It’s a family favorite. We use pens as microphones and we get into it! We sing it loud and proud. IMG_3969Yes, they like to swing while holding my hand… There’s a timer and then I switch sides to hold hands with Blaize. This.Is.Love

Hey Girl, hey girl if you lose your way, just know that I got you! Blaize, Pepper and I sing this to each other as Kai silently watches with big eyes. Haha

Hey Girl, we can make it easy if we lift each other. We don’t need to give up on one other. Singing with my girls is so awesome!

It’s beautiful and so sweet.

Identical Twins Are So Special

Being a mom to Blaize and Pepper (identical twins) is so special AND keeps me on my toes every. single. day.

When you are 25 or 45 years old and tell me, ohhhh I always wanted twinssss. I don’t know what to say to you and ususally say nothing. I would like to send you to this blog post so you can get a taste of the real situation with identical twins.

No, they are very different in personality.

Yes, they are extremely competitive with one another.

No, they STILL don’t like to share me or my attention with each other.

Yes, I can tell them apart every time. From their normal voices to their whiney voices.

No, I didn’t know raising identical twins and a 7 year old would be so awesome! 🙂

Yes, I wanted to be a mom my whole life with 4 kids in tow.  But I always thought one baby at a time would be how it would happen.

No, I’m not supermom. I’m just a mom who loves my three little people as much as you love your singleton.

Yes, my momo pregnancy rocked me with weekly Dr. appts to listen for heartbeats starting at 12 weeks pregnant. Complete with an emergency trip to San Francisco for fetal heart surgery and a long ass, scary hospital stay followed by 32 days in the Nicu.

No, I don’t have stretch marks even though I gained 52 pounds.

Yes, I’m lucky. 🙂

No, I didn’t like tandem breastfeeding and neither did they.

Yes, breastfeeding 3 and 4 pound premature twins with nipple shields at the hospital in the Nicu is the opposite of fun.

No, I didn’t sleep long enough to enter REM-too busy pumping 12 times a day for way too long.

Yes, I was “sleep deprived

No, I didn’t want to give them formula.

Yes, I gave them breastmilk AND formula.

No, I didn’t like giving formula but was breastfeeding around the clock because tandem breastfeeding wasn’t cool for any of us.

Yes, my sweetest girlfriend snapped me out of the “exclusively breastfeeding obsession” (that many women sign up for) by saying “Bran, you’re not getting a medal for exclusively breastfeeding twins.” Let. it. go. I supplemented with formula proudly after that talk with her in her L.A. closet. Haha!

Yes, I would do it again in a second. Yes, having all three of my kids are the best thing I’ve ever done. Yes my mandatory c-sections weren’t that bad after all, even though I wanted a natural birth with no drugs. C-sections are pretty okay of you ask me. Shrug. Giggle IMG_9574Do you see the ear grab?! There was an eye gouge photo after this one. Sharing mom is soooo hard. Especially for identical twins. #justsayin

 

It’s Official, I Love To Eat

This is so true. Always has been. Except, I prefer having someone cook for me. Maybe, it’s cooking for one that makes me want to eat out or maybe it’s being a mom? Dunno? Either way, I’ve never enjoyed someone cooking for me more than I do right now. I mean, if we’re talking about the crazy hot matrix, then someone who can cook would raise their number by at least 1.5 points in my book. Just sayin.

IMG_0676_2Soaking up Portland sunshine with my girls. On our way to PIZZA. 

 

If you haven’t seen the crazy, hot matrix-you must watch it! I love it! If you laugh and love it, then we can be friends. If it makes you angry or defensive then I don’t want to know you.

Maybe, I appreciate food more than ever because I am constantly in the kitchen at home “feeding, cleaning up and then feeding again.” Taking care of my little people is a full time job that I love but boy it’s a lot of “wet hands” in the kitchen.

I started getting lean cuisines because sometimes a hot meal with zero clean up is really nice. Actually, it’s frickin awesome! And it’s even cooler on the airplane. When I pack my lean cuisines and cook them in the galley it’s pretty rad. It smells so good. And it’s all about perspective. My spaghetti lean cuisine was the envy of all the flight attendants and a couple of first class passengers. Something vulnerable and real about being hungry on an airplane. Basically, you have nothing to eat, there’s nothing to buy AND we’re 38,000 feet in the sky.

Maybe I’ll bring back my love for oranges on an airplane. Before I had kids, I used to eat an orange on the airplane and loved it. Then I had kids and was busy pumping breastmilk for years on the plane.

Well my airplane pumping days are long gone (thank God!) so bring out the oranges!

Hot Yoga Is Too Hot For Me

Lately, I’ve been hitting the hot yoga a lot and it’s been good to me. People love to tell me that hot yoga is “too hot for them.” I listen empathetically and nod to all their really good excuses why they don’t do hot yoga or any physical activity for that matter. And why they don’t look like they did 20 years ago…

Dudes, I get you! I really do. Hot yoga is TOO HOT for me-Yo! And I don’t have the time or energy to do hot yoga on most days. Nor do I “want to.” But, my mind drags my body or my body drags my mind and after it’s over it’s glorious. 

I know that if I don’t kick my ass (in a workout) life will do it. And when life does it, it sucks. It’s not cute. But, if I get after it and get my yoga/workout in first, it’s easier to manage the life bullsh*t that inevitably comes and goes. IMG_3631Final Resting Pose where I soak up all the goodies from class.

The next time someone in life or on the airplane rattles off all the great reasons why they can’t get in shape or go to yoga-I will listen empathetically. Then I will say, hot yoga is TOO HOT for me as well! But I do it anyway. Because I know it’s good for me. It makes my mind focus and come to the present moment (like any high intensity workout) which is part of the life secret. Focusing and being in the present moment. Not the future, not the past. It’s easy to say and write about especially when life is spinning. So, like a good student I will hit a hot yoga class today. Not because I like stretching in extreme heat or sweating profusely where my fingers prune up. And not because I like the smell that happens when a bunch of people are pushed to their physical limits in a closed, hot room. It’s because I want that happy song and clear mind that happens after every hot yoga class.IMG_3590Enjoying my post hot yoga sparkle

Get your hot yoga on and tell me about how frickin hot it was…And you did it anyway 🙂