Tag Archives: realmom

I’m Back

It’s been almost a year since I wrote a blog post. And like you I’m saying wow, what a year. Well, when you’re a mama bear to 3 amazing humans life gets busy in a way that you can’t explain. And also, I’ve been doing incredible self care and healthy attachment learning with podcasts, books and conversation. It’s like I have a crush on secure attachment. I love talking about it, learning about it and providing it for my 3 little people.

In addition, to my learning and self care I’ve implemented boundaries for the first time in my life. Instead of accommodating other adult people, I’m consciously choosing to accommodate myself and my 3 kids and then go from there. Modeling healthy boundaries and healthy choices and behavior instead of just talking about it has been the real workout.

I’ve missed writing and sharing and am ready to dive back in. Let the good times roll. 14EDBC30-F260-4ACC-B3A1-CD419277C4DB.jpgLast weekend, flying to Cali to meet our new little baby niece 

Attitude Is Everything

Yes, I’m a busy mama bear to three little cubs. But, the truth is I was waiting for a big, bright light to shine my way for my last day of my 30 day writing challenge. And it never happened. I expected there to be glorious fireworks or some epiphany at the end of my 30 day challenge. But it didn’t happen. So, I wrote my Standby post to buy some time and waited. Yes, I got busy visiting my parents this past weekend with my three little peanuts in tow. Yes, I’m on a 15 night stretch with my three little angels. Yes, my 7 year old got braces and an expander put in on Monday.

Sometimes the end isn’t shiny and cute. Sometimes there isn’t a big flashy bang at the end. Sometimes, it’s a soft whisper with low light. And the best part is the attitude you keep.

I’m glad I did a 30 day writing challenge. It was outside my comfort zone but very doable. It made me focus and dip into my creative side which can disappear when I get busy.

Hands down, my favorite part was connecting with all the people that I don’t normally get to connect with. We’re all busy and it’s hard to stay connected but writing everyday gave me that link.

So, thank you for your encouragement, messages, private messages, emails and texts! I loved getting to hear your story so much.

Here’s a few things I did that were inspired by my 30 day blogging challenge:49A4B990-14B0-45F5-B98B-E53688D58197I upgraded my yoga membership to unlimited.

Kai and I learned how to tie a real tie because Kai likes to wear ties to school EVERYDAY.193921E0-A097-4D6C-B1F5-E42340107C87Loving their cousin Arista❤️717A52DE-27BA-42BD-9171-D19AC9BD67E9Getting a view from the top.9E1E7757-1EDF-4764-B72D-249EBCCFB704Easter smiles while Kai smiles with his “flex.”

6A81C834-E404-4216-965E-E0E0E9A5C9A0Reunited with my girl band and loving it!12030BD6-6B70-41F0-A63D-26B0899DB7CCSurrounded by my barnacles. My mom calls them “barnies” or barnicles because my kids love to be ATTACHED TO MY BODY at all times. 😍

During my challenge, I would wonder why I’m doing this challenge at all or on the weekend, don’t I have enough stuff to do?! One or two days off would be so nice. Then I’d write, post it and the weekend would pass and I’d forget all about it.

Like many things in life hindsight feels different than when you’re in it with your sleeves pulled up handling it. 

So, my friends my heart is full and my pocket is full of sunshine. Happy Day 30! Seems like yesterday I came up with this lil idea. 

Here’s to handling life with grace, humor and lots of connection.

**Attitude is Everything

 

 

People Love Dogs In The Pearl!

I’ve known for awhile that people in the pearl love dogs! It’s a thing. And when you have a dog in the pearl, you’re part of it. But when you have kids you’re on the outside. But when you have kids and a DOG you are golden. It cracks me up the kind of attention people will show when you have a dog in the pearl. Even our grumpy cleaning lady in the building busted into a huge smile today and wanted to chit chat about our dog.F0ECF848-3E0D-4A06-B6F9-5A916B38ABCCShiver licking his chops.7B24EE76-53BF-4BB5-BA8C-2CD865C3F415Shiver’s best friends (Ziggy, Leroy and Shiver) all lined up for a treat at camp Mimi

Yesterday a woman dropped to her knees in the elevator to pet and love on Shiver. All three of my kids were trying to talk to her but she was obsessed with Shiver, our dog. I joked that Shiver was my 4th child so he was in heaven with her loves. While she was petting Shiver, Kai was talking to her about multiplication fractions while Pepper and Blaize simultaneously wanted to know about her glasses-could she see without them? Right before she got out of the elevator she asked if Shiver was an ESP? Uhh, what’s that I asked? She said is Shiver an “emotional support pet?” Haha! I laughed and said “what do you think?!” as the elevator door closed and Pepper yelled “See ya next time!”

Kids are alright in the pearl but dogs are the cream of the crop in this neck of the woods.  Haha!

In A Love Relationship With Yoga

Yes, I’m in a committed, love relationship with yoga and it’s going great. We like to see each other everyday but sometimes we have to miss a few days. It only makes our reunions that much sweeter when we do see each other. If I could I would see hot yoga everyday but I’ll take what I can get. IMG_4150.jpgChilling in Maui post run and yogaIMG_2893_2Teeny, tiny smile post hot yoga class. Happy on the inside but totally wiped out.

I don’t always want to do yoga or feel like I have time to do the yoga. But love doesn’t flourish without  lots of quality time and attention so I make the time.

I’m not flexible at all…And hot yoga feels really awful for part or all of the class every.single.time. Yesterday I ate a cafe yum bowl about 45 minutes before hot yoga and regretted it throughly for the entire class. What you eat, drink, don’t drink can affect your hot yoga class with the intensity of a full body regret.

Improvise Is A Staple Attitude At Our House

We celebrate life LOUD and PROUD at our house. The good times roll and roll quickly every.single.day. We have so much fun and get after the good times! No, I’m not supermom-I just like to have fun. And lucky for me I have 3 small kids who LOVE the fun with me. So we get out in the city a lot. We talk a lot, laugh a lot, eat a lot, adventure a lot and improvise a lot.

Yesterday, in the elevator we told one of our best little friends who’s 8 years old about improvising. She was confused because the game plan changed from the park to a hike. I asked Pepper what we do when we don’t get our first choice in life? Pepper said with a straight face and a 5 year old voice (that only a mom and speech therapist can love and understand) “we IMPOOOvise when we don’t get our furst choice. We say, it’s ok because maybeee next time we wheel get our furst choice. And if we don’t, it’s ok we let it go.  We still have fun, she said with a barbie doll smile!”

YES! That’s my girl! That’s my 5 year old miracle baby that I prayed for since I was 12 weeks pregnant.

So, now that I’m a single mom with three little kids in tow I subscribe hard to the “improvise dance.” Sometimes, it happens on a layover at work where I have 8 pairs of underwear for a 2 day trip and NO SOCKS. Oy! Or it happens a lot at the gym when the four of us hustle down the street to LA Fitness. It’s only a few blocks away so we walk. And it’s a chance for me to get my workout and shower in for the day. I pack my shower bag in a frenzy and always forget something. Today, I forgot my shower towel which has happened before. It’s not the first time people, but it’s the first time I’m talking about it. At least I have my razor and shower flip flops I tell myself. I’ve even dried off with paper towels before. #truth

It’s definitely not my choice to dry off with a hand towel at the gym but by golly I’m going to workout and shower any chance I get. Screw the shower towel, the show must go on! I just avoid eye contact hard! Haha!D3C6DC80-7E23-4997-A691-62EEE5BF80F1.pngIt’s so amazing when I hear one of my little peanuts rattle off some good grown up advice about “improvising” in the real world.

It’s a magical mom moment where I breathe in all the goodness that this little person is sharing with the world.

Big Family, Small Herd

Days are long. Years are short. Days are long. Years are short. IMG_3974.jpgKai, getting it at the playground!IMG_0494Pre bedtime snuggle with my girl band! 

Our days are bat shit crazy busy with kids stuff so I keep our afternoons/evenings very low key with a hard emphasis on the bedtime routine. Yes, Blaize and Pepper are 5 years old but they need their sleep. And so do I!

They are not the kind of kids that can stay up til 10pm and be “cool” the next day. I still plan my life around playing and chasing the fun with my kids during the day while honoring our “family sleep schedule.”

More music, more singing, more adventures and sleep, lots of beautiful sleep.

Happy sleeping my friends!

Root Down To Rise Up

This. Is. Amazing. Root down to rise up. They say this all the time in hot yoga and it resonates with me in every single way. IMG_3087Last summer-chilling at the splash pad for a quick picture

Physically, I know that you must build yourself up from the bottom to the top through the middle to feel good.

Mentally, I know that you must put your own oxygen mask on first before serving others.

Spiritually, I know you must believe in something bigger than you to be humble and resilient in this wild world.

Mom-ally, I know I must lead by example and say what I mean and mean what I say to raise, healthy, happy well adjusted kids.

Personally, I know I am accountable to myself, for my actions, decisions and words to grow and evolve as a person.

Why are some days so hard? And why does it look so easy for everyone else on the social media? 

Well, my friends it’s all about the swan.

Like my grandma Ardie used to say, SWIM and PADDLE like crazy (under the water) and SMILE with POISE and dignity on top of the water. Then REPEAT the very next day and everyday thereafter. Also, make your bed everyday. That’s important too. As a mom to 3 little humans, making my bed may be the only thing I actually finish today. So make that bed!

I write and share on this mom blog because no matter what it looks like on the Instagram or the Facebook, everyone is paddling like crazy under water just like you and me. Of course, I enjoy the pretty part on top, who doesn’t?! But, I like the real stuff and talk about the “underwater part” which makes the pretty part even bette if you ask me.

Now, roll on summer so I can work on my kiddie, splash park tan. 🙂

Marinating My Pregnant Belly

The good news is I have this babymama blog and I am the writer and keeper of it-all of it. 
Let’s just leave it at that, shall we.

Marination

In the beginning of my pregnancy with baby Kai, I wondered about stretch marks. Okay AND everything else.  Most of my friends had an idea or two about stretch marks.  A lot of my friends with kids under five walked away without stretch marks.  Randomly, my friends with kids older than five seemed to have stretch marks.  Coincidence, maybe.  But definitely interesting.IMG_26888 months pregnant with Kai, black line and all. 

After doing my own research, I think it’s a crap shoot.  Research suggests that stretch marks are primarily genetic. If that’s true then I’m screwed because it runs in my family. However, the rate at which your belly grows along with nutrition, general health and skin tone can play a factor.

So, I started “lubing” my belly with cocoa butter and shea butter because I heard these are the best natural lubricants.  There really are a million products that claim to prevent stretch marks.  And they are not cheap.  I doubt there is one product which actually prevents stretch marks.  Which is why I chose to use natural oils.  They claim to moisturize and help prevent stretch marks while soothing your stretching skin.  One product I like is called Wild Carrot Herbals from New Seasons and Whole Foods.  It has olive oil, cocoa butter, shea butter, vitamin E and even St. John’s wort along with a few other special ingredients.  Like anything else in life, there’s no guarantee but I figured lubing up couldn’t hurt.  At the very least it minimizes the itching from my growing belly and body.  And it feels good to pamper my skin.

The funny part is that the die hard marinators I knew were two prominent Portland yoga teachers.  They both openly shared their pregnancy/stretch mark experience with me.  One Portland yoga instructor said she gained 60 pounds with her son and “lubed up” five times a day.  And, no stretch marks.  Wow, that sounds amazing.  The second instructor in Portland said that she used oil called Mother’s Special Blend found at Whole Foods.  She would lube up from head to toe and cruise around naked for 20 minutes or so two to three times a day.  She said she didn’t get any stretch marks either.  Lubing up 2-5 times a day and letting it soak in sounded like a big time commitment to me.

So, I’ve been doing what’s realistic for me.  I’m lubing up once a day and try to do the head to toe lube job because it feels so good.  I can’t say I do it everyday but definitely get the belly on a daily basis.  It feels like I’m giving my skin a drink of water.  I like to sing “Marin-nnnnaaation” when I lube up and scoot around naked.

Bottom line is that all things being equal, I’d rather not get stretch marks but know it’s the smallest trade-off for the miracle of life.  To date, I’m packing 30 pounds and still stripe free.  However, I know those victory stripes can show up any ole time so we shall see.

I would love to hear your tips or stories about lubing up?

Please leave a comment below.  Thanks for sharing!

Published March 30, 2010

March 24th, 2018 Update-I still love to lube up and “marinate” after my shower and cruise around naked. Old habits die hard. Haha!

Instagram Why Are You So Weird

I have to talk about it because it’s happening all the time and really weird. And people that do instagram don’t know what I’m talking about until I show them. Why, oh why? Haha! I like the instagram, feels like how facebook was 10 years ago. Pictures without all the political bs. Surprisingly, you can write a lot under your instagram pictures. #justsayin

And when I publish my book, Instagram will be a great place to spread the love.IMG_3175Taking a break from the instagram weird and working out in the hotel gym. Always me in the gym and one bald pilot. Haha!

Instagram has a texting or DM component (direct message) for all my non-instagram people. However, there’s a second tier of direct messages under Direct and titled REQUESTS. These messages under REQUESTS requests are creepy. I have a revolving list of 20-30 different randoms wanting to “chat.” I don’t follow these jokers so they can’t direct message me-they can only “request” the DM. Some guys are basic with opening lines of “Hi and Hey.” Then it goes downhill from there really fast. Pictures are offered. No, I’ve never accepted one-a message or a picture.

Who knows if they are real people or robots? For all I know they’re catfishing on Instagram. I can block them especially when they get cranky and send angry direct message requests from the second tier. But really, who has time to block the freaks. Ignore them and they’ll go away is how I play it. They can delete their direct message request and a new round of freaks appears in the second tier of messaging. WTF?

Tell me, do you have a line of creepers on Instagram trying to “request” direct messages with you?

“Instagram, why you so weird?”