Category Archives: thrive

Surf Mama

One of my favorite things of 2019 was surfing. Long board surfing. VOLUME. Long and thick, light to carry and easy to paddle. I say this every time I get to the surf shop. I want a 9’2-9’6″ (longboard) that’s light to carry, easy to paddle with lots of volume. One of the surf guys likes to say, girrrl you want too much as they shake their head and laugh. Well the good news is that I know what I want (that’s half the battle) Took me a year to figure out what I like. Trying a new surfboard every time I sure is going to make me a better surfer (that’s what they keep telling me) haha! But, I’m ready to find a board of my own. Something that I can get cozy with. Riding a new board is exciting and a little wild because when I stand up I get to know how much rub she’s gunna give me. Sometimes, the rub is just right but sometimes it’s not enough and we struggle through the surf session. C0DAC492-0958-4373-A253-1220FA013E7B9’6 Dick Brewer longboard in Waikiki

The best part about this surf day was when my iwatch popped off and I found it with my feet! Oh my grapes! For the first couple of months of surfing, I worried about my watch coming off while surfing. It’s never been an issue until this day. I yelled to my surf buddy near by, “can you dive?!” What, he yelled back as another wave was coming toward us. I lost my watch-can you dive? He said try and get it with your feet. So I did. I held onto my board and dropped down a couple of feet as the wave came over head, felt something and grabbed it with my toes. I pulled my foot out of the water and sure enough it was my watch. I was so stinky happy and proud of myself. I started cheering for myself because I was giddy. I’m so tough! Yes! I did it all by myself. Haha!

FtkPey3bSNGcZtFax1wk7wSo happy to come in with my watch 🙂

Yoga toes baby!

Surfing with my iwatch is so fun! So cool to record my wave speed and distance along with my daily activity credit.

I want to know, do you surf with a watch?

Super Mom Compliment

I’m a doer. A worker bee. A fast walker if you will. Consciously trying to walk slower. This is a lot of effort. Naturally, I’m a high. Not to be confused with an over functioner. I don’t think I’m an “over functioner” at all. To me, a high functioner handles it. Life throws a frisbee (while I’m making dinner, doing laundry and chatting with my 3 kids) I catch that frisbee with my lipstick on. I’ve always been a high functioner but didn’t have a name for it. I used to say I have a lot of energy. And I do have a lot of energy and am so grateful I do.yc0gwFBLQe+rZlxkFTdT9ASoaking in all these happy smiles 

People have been calling me SUPERMOM to my face for years. It used to frustrate me because like all moms, I used to feel like I could or should do more. The feeling creeps back here and there but my attitude and outlook have changed. Like most moms, I’m doing the best I can. fullsizeoutput_6543.jpegMy FULL SPEED identical twin girls running toward me 🙂 ydAq+5iTQeW7TVIx62cZGQPracticing generosity at the Dollar Tree 

These days, I’m letting the supermom compliment sink in. I soak it up as a compliment. It took a minute but I’m doing it. Surprisingly, the supermom comment comes from every avenue of my life. It could be a surf instructor in Hawaii who knows I have kids but cheers me on while I paddle like crazy to catch that wave. Go supermom! Or the dollar tree cashier who is missing teeth in the front row who sincerely calls me a supermom as he asks “are they all yours?” Yep, this is my herd I say with a giggle. He has big eyes but I feel his acknowledgement for bringing my 3 kids into the dollar tree to buy Christmas presents for each other. Lots of juicy conversation within my herd as we stand in line to pay-each of them with their 3 gifts and 3 bucks. 🙂

I feel like a Super Lucky Mom! I love my babies!

Integrity Is Cool

68B24081-E926-456F-980C-058ED3F614EDFamily photo while ice skating and reading 🙂

Since we moved across the river we drive to school. Our 5min walk to school offered a different experience. Nice because of the fresh air before school. But didn’t allow for the deep talks that driving to school provides. It’s a whole different morning routine for us. And the car conversations are priceless. Today we talked about “integrity.” One of our family values and one of my favorite qualities in a person. heart

It started by me asking if anyone knows what integrity means?? Blaize and Pepper raised their hands in the backseat of our tiny kia soul while making moaning sounds while raising their hands. (Basically saying Call on me!) I called on Blaize first and said, what do you think integrity means?? Blaize said  without hesitation. ‘”integrity means to be on time.” Hmmm, being on time is a very important quality and part of having integrity. But does anyone else have an another idea about what integrity means? Pepper is raising her hand and moaning with a “pick me pick me” moaning sound. I called on Pepper and she confidently stated that integrity means “not being late” Hmmm, I get your points about being on time and how that represents respect and is a family value. But I’m looking for a different definition. Kai didn’t even want to try…I said very calmly listen because integrity is a very important quality to mama. You could have heard a pin drop. They were so quiet and intrigued. I said “integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.” Then I gave a few age appropriate examples of being a person with high integrity.

I found this definition after school drop off:

Integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. Having integrity means doing the right thing in a reliable way. It’s a personality trait that we admire, since it means a person has a moral compass that doesn’t waver.

All three kids were mulling over our integrity talk right up until we kissed and hugged goodbye for another school day.

What car conversations are you having with your littles? Love to hear the stories because there’s always something to talk about especially with my three buttercups.

 

Surf Mom

C0DAC492-0958-4373-A253-1220FA013E7BYep. This is me. I’m almost 45 years old.  This is a 9″6 Dick Brewer longboard. I know it looks HUGE. But it treats me well. paddles nice and floats me like a lifejacket. All comfortable benefits when you’re a mom who learns to surf in your 40’s.

I’m a single mom to three young kids. And yes I had all 3 kids out of my own body. This is a question that people (strangers love to ask me) Recently, our female captain asked me if I had all 3 kids? I said yes. Then she went on to ask if I had all of them out of my own body? Yep, I sure did. Then she asked if I did IVF? Nope, they were all natural AND planned. She was so baffled. Thank god, the first officer was done using the bathroom so I could leave the cockpit and quit the 20 personal questions with a female stranger. The questions aren’t usually so intense for a 2-3 minute bathroom break but the questions can be rampant.

JSbBPDElTqu04aZ17CHikQ.jpgWhen the pilots need a break to use the bathroom, the A flight attendant has to enter the cockpit to ensure two people are always in the cockpit. I don’t mind giving breaks to our pilots because they’re people too and need use the bathroom and stand up and stretch their legs. But, the 20 personal questions in 3 minutes is always a bit awkward for me. Plus I’m wearing my 100% polyester flight attendant dress that’s about as flattering as a pair of old navy sweats. Holy crap if she saw my surf picture above she might never stop the personal questions. Haha!

 

I must give the friendly vibe like ask me anything. Haha! I do love the honest conversations especially when they’re interesting for both of us.

Do you have awkward conversations at work or in real life because you are healthy? Love to hear your stories! Connecting with real people and real moms is one of my favorite things.

Holding Space For Myself Is My New Sport

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I remember being a little girl and having really big feelings. I can remember grown ups saying they weren’t upset but could feel their “upset” energy. Even though their words said one thing, it didn’t match their actions or energy. And if someone was upset, I remember feeling “their upset” in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know why I felt it when someone else was upset back then. However, I have a name for it now and it’s called being an empath.

Empath: a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.

I still have big feelings AND I’m still really sensitive. I think being an empath has served me well as a mama. I’m able to connect, validate and empathize with my kids in a special way.C0DAC492-0958-4373-A253-1220FA013E7BPre Surf pose where I’m nervous and excited all at once. This 9’6 Dick Brewer surf board and I got along really well. 🙂

This year, I’m learning to protect myself with limits and a boundary bubble. I’ve been setting and practicing boundaries with my kids for a couple of years. We practice respect, grace, courtesy and kind communication at home. Boundaries with adults is much harder I must admit. pShRXZjcRHKxjkicdEjB7QPost Surf Sparkle. Learning to surf, post 3 kids and in my 40’s has been humbling and beautiful all at once.

Being able to hold space for my kids is something I’m very good at. It’s natural and so automatic for me. From the second I found out I was pregnant with all of my peanuts, I’ve been able to prioritize their health and well being. And once they were born, it was on. From a sleep schedule to daily and life decisions that were in the kids’ best interest were and still are an easy choice for me.

However, I found myself agreeing to things I didn’t want to do to accommodate the other adult person’s feelings. Setting boundaries in my adult relationships is hard because I love connection and camaraderie. And I have a very fun public life and job that allows for lots of fun conversation. Sometimes, I will say to the same co-worker 10 times I don’t discuss my personal life at work. I know that people can’t help themselves and are so curious because I do have a wonderful life. But protecting my energy is one way I hold space for myself. And It’s not my job to entertain other adults when I don’t want to. I want to talk about the good stuff, like surfing and how happy and healthy my kids are. And whether or not we’ll open a present on Christmas eve? You know, important holiday traditions.

As I continue (daily) to hold space for myself with adult conversations and adult plans I agree to. I’m breathing into it. Sometimes, it still feels hard to disappoint other adults by not doing exactly what they want. But I know that modeling healthy behavior while speaking clear, open communication is the best teacher for my little people.

And when I see AND hear my kids empathize with one another and other people I know I’m doing good work. The real work. Teaching my littles from a place of integrity and love. For the first time since they were babies my kids have joined me at the the chiropractor. They always came with me as babies (annual exam, dentist, eye appointment) you name it, they came with me to my mandatory appointments. Don’t be jealous-haha! These days I can usual schedule my dentist and annuals while they’re at school. #winning

But I take them to the chiropractor and the gym here and there on purpose. So, they can see me taking care of me.

Mama needs to take care of mama so she can take care of us.                                                                        ~Quote from Blaize, Pepper and Kai on the reg 

 

 

Attitude Is Everything

Yes, I’m a busy mama bear to three little cubs. But, the truth is I was waiting for a big, bright light to shine my way for my last day of my 30 day writing challenge. And it never happened. I expected there to be glorious fireworks or some epiphany at the end of my 30 day challenge. But it didn’t happen. So, I wrote my Standby post to buy some time and waited. Yes, I got busy visiting my parents this past weekend with my three little peanuts in tow. Yes, I’m on a 15 night stretch with my three little angels. Yes, my 7 year old got braces and an expander put in on Monday.

Sometimes the end isn’t shiny and cute. Sometimes there isn’t a big flashy bang at the end. Sometimes, it’s a soft whisper with low light. And the best part is the attitude you keep.

I’m glad I did a 30 day writing challenge. It was outside my comfort zone but very doable. It made me focus and dip into my creative side which can disappear when I get busy.

Hands down, my favorite part was connecting with all the people that I don’t normally get to connect with. We’re all busy and it’s hard to stay connected but writing everyday gave me that link.

So, thank you for your encouragement, messages, private messages, emails and texts! I loved getting to hear your story so much.

Here’s a few things I did that were inspired by my 30 day blogging challenge:49A4B990-14B0-45F5-B98B-E53688D58197I upgraded my yoga membership to unlimited.

Kai and I learned how to tie a real tie because Kai likes to wear ties to school EVERYDAY.193921E0-A097-4D6C-B1F5-E42340107C87Loving their cousin Arista❤️717A52DE-27BA-42BD-9171-D19AC9BD67E9Getting a view from the top.9E1E7757-1EDF-4764-B72D-249EBCCFB704Easter smiles while Kai smiles with his “flex.”

6A81C834-E404-4216-965E-E0E0E9A5C9A0Reunited with my girl band and loving it!12030BD6-6B70-41F0-A63D-26B0899DB7CCSurrounded by my barnacles. My mom calls them “barnies” or barnicles because my kids love to be ATTACHED TO MY BODY at all times. 😍

During my challenge, I would wonder why I’m doing this challenge at all or on the weekend, don’t I have enough stuff to do?! One or two days off would be so nice. Then I’d write, post it and the weekend would pass and I’d forget all about it.

Like many things in life hindsight feels different than when you’re in it with your sleeves pulled up handling it. 

So, my friends my heart is full and my pocket is full of sunshine. Happy Day 30! Seems like yesterday I came up with this lil idea. 

Here’s to handling life with grace, humor and lots of connection.

**Attitude is Everything

 

 

Like The Pilots Say, Standby

Standby for Day 30 of Day 30 of my writing challenge. One of my favorite responses is “standby” via text or face to face. If you know me, then you know where “standby” comes from but other people look confused when I toss the “standby” their way.

Here’s how the standby conversation goes:

On the airplane, the A flight attendant takes care of first class AND feeds the pilots. So, I’ve always loved the initial briefing at the start of any trip. Hi, my name is Dave. Hi Dave, my name is Brandy. Small chit chat ensues similar or exactly like the following; “have we flown together? Maybe? You look really familiar, so do you! Do you live in Portland? No, across the bridge in Vancouver. Cool! Then the pilots head into their office to start their checklist. It never fails, Hey Dave, do you want coffee or something besides water. “STANDBY” is his response. Then I literally standby and wait for the yes or no  response. I don’t know why this was so funny to me when I started flying. It’s so normal to me now but I love to use it outside of the airplane, in the real world. It’s funny using the “STANDBY” as your complete response with people. Give it a try. When someone asks you a question, respond via text with “Standby.” And wait for their response. 😂😎59F4103C-F831-4286-A6C0-584FE35DCA58.jpegSelf Care With A High Noon Hot Tub