Tag Archives: singleparent

Surf Mom

C0DAC492-0958-4373-A253-1220FA013E7BYep. This is me. I’m almost 45 years old.  This is a 9″6 Dick Brewer longboard. I know it looks HUGE. But it treats me well. paddles nice and floats me like a lifejacket. All comfortable benefits when you’re a mom who learns to surf in your 40’s.

I’m a single mom to three young kids. And yes I had all 3 kids out of my own body. This is a question that people (strangers love to ask me) Recently, our female captain asked me if I had all 3 kids? I said yes. Then she went on to ask if I had all of them out of my own body? Yep, I sure did. Then she asked if I did IVF? Nope, they were all natural AND planned. She was so baffled. Thank god, the first officer was done using the bathroom so I could leave the cockpit and quit the 20 personal questions with a female stranger. The questions aren’t usually so intense for a 2-3 minute bathroom break but the questions can be rampant.

JSbBPDElTqu04aZ17CHikQ.jpgWhen the pilots need a break to use the bathroom, the A flight attendant has to enter the cockpit to ensure two people are always in the cockpit. I don’t mind giving breaks to our pilots because they’re people too and need use the bathroom and stand up and stretch their legs. But, the 20 personal questions in 3 minutes is always a bit awkward for me. Plus I’m wearing my 100% polyester flight attendant dress that’s about as flattering as a pair of old navy sweats. Holy crap if she saw my surf picture above she might never stop the personal questions. Haha!

 

I must give the friendly vibe like ask me anything. Haha! I do love the honest conversations especially when they’re interesting for both of us.

Do you have awkward conversations at work or in real life because you are healthy? Love to hear your stories! Connecting with real people and real moms is one of my favorite things.

It’s Hard To Do It All

This is my new favorite line when I connect with another real parent. I find it hard to relate to parents who talk a big talk with their t-shirt that shouts GOOD VIBES ONLY and #Blessed when they have 4 kids only 1-2 years apart in age and homeschool. Wow! That’s amazing. I suppose if I had a full time housekeeper mama’s helper I could dig into some of that but for now the housework alone feels like a full time gig. I’m a hands on full time mama bear to three young people who wants to be the very best mom to my little peanuts. They’re only 2 1/2 years apart (7,7 and 9 1/2) which can be ideal and hectic all at once.IMG_1577.JPGFamily Christmas photo 2019 

I don’t have time or energy for boring surface talk. When new parents start to talk about how easy it is to work full time, with 3 or more, young kids with or without a partner. I listen and then I hesitate. I find myself thinking in my head “huh, that’s interesting…” I don’t know that I would call that situation “easy.” These days, I hear this sort of story usually from a woman and my age. My steady response is usually “oh wow” huh? with a courtesy smile.

For me these sort of surface conversations usually happen at work. I’m lucky because I get to meet and work with all sorts of people. The people, the trips and the experiences are always different as a flight attendant. Usually, when I toss out new favorite one liners like “it’s hard to do it all!” That’s when things can take a drastic turn for the better. It’s when they (mom or dad or both) look me in the eyes and say as they shake their head you’re not kidding. It’s so hard to do it all. Then we click like a couple of high school kids talking about real life stuff within the first two minutes of meeting each other. I love it when this happens.

People assume that being healthy and in shape is easy for me because I do it. Not. At All. But I understand the thought process other people have. In 2005, I qualified for the Boston Marathon and always thought that the fastest runners didn’t suffer as much as the 5-6 hour finishers. I had a conversation with someone after a spin class about 15 years ago about distance running and suffering mentally and physically during marathons. It forever changed the way I thought about fitness training and now being a good parent. Basically, it’s hard to do it all and the 2 hour marathon finishers suffer just as much as the 6 hour finishers but for 4 hours less time! Even though they’re the best, fittest and fastest they still suffer just like us commoners.

bbc1WQU9QWCvzpWWPvthpQMe, grabbing a bite to eat in the jetway in San Diego before boarding. Nothing like some good ole (JET FUEL~fresh air for us) Luckily this was one of those trips where i clicked with the real people and we had the good talks 🙂

Sure, certain things “might be easier like having a full time nanny or a daily housekeeper to tackle the housework and help with the daily grind. But the challenges that come with being a good parent to three little humans as a single parent can be tiring. And trying to do it all can be hard. Do less and feel more is my current motto.

Currently, practicing good self care while being the best mama I can to my 3 favorite humans has my full attention.

Seeking Balance As A Single Mom

I didn’t know that life balance while being a mom would be so complicated. I didn’t know that life balance while being a single mom would be SO COMPLICATED. There’s the normal mom guilt and then there’s the single mom guilt. Which goes above and beyond.E33A826D-4DBD-434B-ADC3-57F09A8E9A05.jpegTaking the streetcar to Aunt Tiff’s birthday. This is me operating at 100.IMG_3938Working and making lemonade. 

Nobody sets out to be a single mom but stuff happens…And I wouldn’t pick this situation for my kids EVER but it happened. So I will make the most of it. Being a single mom to three little kids is like a forced break of self care. It’s a few days a month where I’m forced to look after myself for a bit. It’s really strange to go from 100-zero overnight. And it doesn’t get easier just more familiar. Oh yeah, these are the days where I might sleep in, workout and take time to make myself food that I want. Oh hey self care days. “I see you and I’m trying to get along with you. Let’s make the most of it, shall we?”IMG_4038Mom Day-Just woke up, rushing to hot yoga. Wearing Kai’s backpack on the front so I don’t forget to drop it by his school after yoga. All of this happens before I fly to Maui later that day. This is a day where I’m standing for 20 hours. #momlife

I will continue to teach my kids how to improvise and make lemonade because I think it’s important in life. Whether I like it or not, the show must go on.

So to all you moms out there, single or not, GOOD JOB! Keep going, and keep taking care of the mother ship.

Nobody Likes The Wet Spot

This is a REPOST from my old babymama blog. It was created in 2009 when I was pregnant with Kai but no longer available. However, here is one of the few stories I managed to snag.

I remember giggling when my mom first joked about how nobody likes the “wet spot” in the bed. I can’t remember the context of what was said but there’s usually a hint of many things in her jokes. Over the years, I’ve used that saying here and there. If someone spills water on the bed, I’d announce “let’s trade sides” because nobody likes the “wet spot.” Giggle, giggle. Turns out the jokes on me these days.

Me and baby Kai

Baby Kai all snuggled into the ergo where we cruised around together-2010

After being in the stroller for awhile Baby Kai clearly expressed wanting out of his car seat/stroller situation. He’d been in there singing for an hour so who could blame him for wanting a different view. I figured it was time to feed him anyway and popped into a local coffee shop to do the deed. He was ecstatic to get out of the stroller and get a better view of the world. He nose dived for the boob, took some good sucks and then pulled away smiling. My milk started spraying while my nipple saluted everyone. I pulled my tank up and down while he nose dived for the boob again. Eating, smiling and grabbing my face are some of the highlights these days. This little game went on a couple of times on each side before I took my wet boobs back outside. Put the little guy in the Ergo and we continued our walking errands. The show must go on, wet spots and all.

Thus, giving new meaning to the “wet spot” with a baby.

Experiences Over Things

I’m a minimalist at heart so being a mom to three little people has it’s organizing challenges.IMG_2076Blaize and Pepper in all their glory. Post dinner scooter party with my toms wedges and all. Haha!

Yes, I want to save the stuff you want to save. But, we collect SO MUCH STUFF every.single.day. The daily pictures, math problems and cursive practice sheets from home alone are wild.  We live in the Pearl so don’t have a garage or attic to store all the extra “stuff.” That makes it challenging to hold onto.

Years ago, a friend told me about “clipping” people. And how important it was to get rid of the blood suckers. You know, the takers. The ones that constantly take and forget to give back. These days, I’m clipping the stuff. 

As, I did my quarterly closet clean out for Blaize and Pepper, I found bags of stuff to donate. Of course they still have the rotating single socks (at least 40 single socks without matchers) and the clothes. Single socks happen in every house but are rampant in two parent homes.

But a highlight for me during the closet clean out is getting a clothing item out of the rotation! It’s either too small, too stained or too tired. That feels good. Maybe next time, I’ll throw those 40 single socks away and start fresh?

I hope this post tickled your clipping urge. Less is more if you ask me.