Tag Archives: surfer

Surf Mom

C0DAC492-0958-4373-A253-1220FA013E7BYep. This is me. I’m almost 45 years old.  This is a 9″6 Dick Brewer longboard. I know it looks HUGE. But it treats me well. paddles nice and floats me like a lifejacket. All comfortable benefits when you’re a mom who learns to surf in your 40’s.

I’m a single mom to three young kids. And yes I had all 3 kids out of my own body. This is a question that people (strangers love to ask me) Recently, our female captain asked me if I had all 3 kids? I said yes. Then she went on to ask if I had all of them out of my own body? Yep, I sure did. Then she asked if I did IVF? Nope, they were all natural AND planned. She was so baffled. Thank god, the first officer was done using the bathroom so I could leave the cockpit and quit the 20 personal questions with a female stranger. The questions aren’t usually so intense for a 2-3 minute bathroom break but the questions can be rampant.

JSbBPDElTqu04aZ17CHikQ.jpgWhen the pilots need a break to use the bathroom, the A flight attendant has to enter the cockpit to ensure two people are always in the cockpit. I don’t mind giving breaks to our pilots because they’re people too and need use the bathroom and stand up and stretch their legs. But, the 20 personal questions in 3 minutes is always a bit awkward for me. Plus I’m wearing my 100% polyester flight attendant dress that’s about as flattering as a pair of old navy sweats. Holy crap if she saw my surf picture above she might never stop the personal questions. Haha!

 

I must give the friendly vibe like ask me anything. Haha! I do love the honest conversations especially when they’re interesting for both of us.

Do you have awkward conversations at work or in real life because you are healthy? Love to hear your stories! Connecting with real people and real moms is one of my favorite things.

Holding Space For Myself Is My New Sport

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I remember being a little girl and having really big feelings. I can remember grown ups saying they weren’t upset but could feel their “upset” energy. Even though their words said one thing, it didn’t match their actions or energy. And if someone was upset, I remember feeling “their upset” in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know why I felt it when someone else was upset back then. However, I have a name for it now and it’s called being an empath.

Empath: a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.

I still have big feelings AND I’m still really sensitive. I think being an empath has served me well as a mama. I’m able to connect, validate and empathize with my kids in a special way.C0DAC492-0958-4373-A253-1220FA013E7BPre Surf pose where I’m nervous and excited all at once. This 9’6 Dick Brewer surf board and I got along really well. 🙂

This year, I’m learning to protect myself with limits and a boundary bubble. I’ve been setting and practicing boundaries with my kids for a couple of years. We practice respect, grace, courtesy and kind communication at home. Boundaries with adults is much harder I must admit. pShRXZjcRHKxjkicdEjB7QPost Surf Sparkle. Learning to surf, post 3 kids and in my 40’s has been humbling and beautiful all at once.

Being able to hold space for my kids is something I’m very good at. It’s natural and so automatic for me. From the second I found out I was pregnant with all of my peanuts, I’ve been able to prioritize their health and well being. And once they were born, it was on. From a sleep schedule to daily and life decisions that were in the kids’ best interest were and still are an easy choice for me.

However, I found myself agreeing to things I didn’t want to do to accommodate the other adult person’s feelings. Setting boundaries in my adult relationships is hard because I love connection and camaraderie. And I have a very fun public life and job that allows for lots of fun conversation. Sometimes, I will say to the same co-worker 10 times I don’t discuss my personal life at work. I know that people can’t help themselves and are so curious because I do have a wonderful life. But protecting my energy is one way I hold space for myself. And It’s not my job to entertain other adults when I don’t want to. I want to talk about the good stuff, like surfing and how happy and healthy my kids are. And whether or not we’ll open a present on Christmas eve? You know, important holiday traditions.

As I continue (daily) to hold space for myself with adult conversations and adult plans I agree to. I’m breathing into it. Sometimes, it still feels hard to disappoint other adults by not doing exactly what they want. But I know that modeling healthy behavior while speaking clear, open communication is the best teacher for my little people.

And when I see AND hear my kids empathize with one another and other people I know I’m doing good work. The real work. Teaching my littles from a place of integrity and love. For the first time since they were babies my kids have joined me at the the chiropractor. They always came with me as babies (annual exam, dentist, eye appointment) you name it, they came with me to my mandatory appointments. Don’t be jealous-haha! These days I can usual schedule my dentist and annuals while they’re at school. #winning

But I take them to the chiropractor and the gym here and there on purpose. So, they can see me taking care of me.

Mama needs to take care of mama so she can take care of us.                                                                        ~Quote from Blaize, Pepper and Kai on the reg