Author Archives: babymama3pdx

About babymama3pdx

I'm a full time babymama who loves to workout, travel and surf. Mama Bear to 3 amazing humans.

Lucky

I’m lucky. I’m almost 45 years old. I’m a single mom with three young children who I adore. I spend most of my time being the best mom I can be for them. Reading parenting books, teaching kindness and respect. Modeling high integrity with my words and actions with them and other people. Staying positive and diplomatic when their emotions get hot. And 7 year old identical twin girls have some big emotions. And I feel lucky to hold space for them as I believe they deserve. In my opinion, all kids deserve to have their kid brain nurtured with age appropriate lessons and so much love and compassion.

Getting the right snacks that are healthy and always having their water cups full with the right color of straws. Looking them in the eye when we talk. Listening, problem solving, creating and snuggling them as much as possible. It keeps me busy in a way I can’t explain to a married mom with 3 kids.

But also, I have an amazing job that forces me to take care of me. Lucky is how I feel. I always knew I wanted to be a flight attendant AND a mom even when I flew for Northwest Airlines back in 1998.

Good news is that I have a strong intrinsic motivation to workout, practice yoga and a deep hunger to keep learning and playing. This was built long before I had kids and continues to thrive even as I mostly think of myself as Blaize, Pepper and Kai’s mama.

Longboard surfing is my newest hobby and it has my full attention. Learning to carry this 9 foot plus beast on top of my head to the beach with the wind and the Japanese tourists took me 3 months to learn. It’s still one of my proudest parts about learning to surf. Nobody talks about how hard it is to learn to balance and carry that big ass board on your head except for me.fullsizeoutput_5cadI love to call it like it is. So when the 20 somethings start to look at me kinda funny, I shut it down hard and fast and remind them that I could be your mom 😂 #truth

So I feel lucky that this mom bod can learn an intense sport like longboard surfing. Surfers make it look easy. I’m telling you loud and clear there is nothing easy about learning to surf in your 40’s post 3 babies.

After surfing a few times a month for about a year, I received the best compliment ever last weekend. A surf instructor (not mine) yelled, “your paddle looks good and strong!” Whaaaat?! Really? Paddling is something I’ve worked on and talked about constantly. Then like any good, honest human he also yelled “your problem is you’re looking back at the wave and it’s killing your momentum AND you’re in the wrong spot. Haha! I love the truth tellers.

Never a dull moment when you’re learning a new sport in your 40’s.

What’s on your learning list in 2020? Love to hear your big goals!

Holding Space For Myself Is My New Sport

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I remember being a little girl and having really big feelings. I can remember grown ups saying they weren’t upset but could feel their “upset” energy. Even though their words said one thing, it didn’t match their actions or energy. And if someone was upset, I remember feeling “their upset” in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know why I felt it when someone else was upset back then. However, I have a name for it now and it’s called being an empath.

Empath: a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.

I still have big feelings AND I’m still really sensitive. I think being an empath has served me well as a mama. I’m able to connect, validate and empathize with my kids in a special way.

This year, I’m learning to protect myself with limits and a boundary bubble. I’ve been setting and practicing boundaries with my kids for a couple of years. We practice respect, grace, courtesy and kind communication at home. Boundaries with adults is much harder I must admit. pShRXZjcRHKxjkicdEjB7QPost Surf Sparkle. Learning to surf, post 3 kids and in my 40’s has been humbling and beautiful all at once.

Being able to hold space for my kids is something I’m very good at. It’s natural and so automatic for me. From the second I found out I was pregnant with all of my peanuts, I’ve been able to prioritize their health and well being. And once they were born, it was on. From a sleep schedule to daily and life decisions that were in the kids’ best interest were and still are an easy choice for me.

However, I found myself agreeing to things I didn’t want to do to accommodate the other adult person’s feelings. Setting boundaries in my adult relationships is hard because I love connection and camaraderie. And I have a very fun public life and job that allows for lots of fun conversation. Sometimes, I will say to the same co-worker 10 times I don’t discuss my personal life at work. I know that people can’t help themselves and are so curious because I do have a wonderful life. But protecting my energy is one way I hold space for myself. And It’s not my job to entertain other adults when I don’t want to. I want to talk about the good stuff, like surfing and how happy and healthy my kids are. And whether or not we’ll open a present on Christmas eve? You know, important holiday traditions.

As I continue (daily) to hold space for myself with adult conversations and adult plans I agree to. I’m breathing into it. Sometimes, it still feels hard to disappoint other adults by not doing exactly what they want. But I know that modeling healthy behavior while speaking clear, open communication is the best teacher for my little people.

And when I see AND hear my kids empathize with one another and other people I know I’m doing good work. The real work. Teaching my littles from a place of integrity and love. For the first time since they were babies my kids have joined me at the the chiropractor. They always came with me as babies (annual exam, dentist, eye appointment) you name it, they came with me to my mandatory appointments. Don’t be jealous-haha! These days I can usual schedule my dentist and annuals while they’re at school. #winning

But I take them to the chiropractor and the gym here and there on purpose. So, they can see me taking care of me.

Mama needs to take care of mama so she can take care of us.                                                                        ~Quote from Blaize, Pepper and Kai on the reg 

 

 

I’m Back

It’s been almost a year since I wrote a blog post. And like you I’m saying wow, what a year. Well, when you’re a mama bear to 3 amazing humans life gets busy in a way that you can’t explain. And also, I’ve been doing incredible self care and healthy attachment learning with podcasts, books and conversation. It’s like I have a crush on secure attachment. I love talking about it, learning about it and providing it for my 3 little people.

In addition, to my learning and self care I’ve implemented boundaries for the first time in my life. Instead of accommodating other adult people, I’m consciously choosing to accommodate myself and my 3 kids and then go from there. Modeling healthy boundaries and healthy choices and behavior instead of just talking about it has been the real workout.

I’ve missed writing and sharing and am ready to dive back in. Let the good times roll. 14EDBC30-F260-4ACC-B3A1-CD419277C4DB.jpgLast weekend, flying to Cali to meet our new little baby niece 

Attitude Is Everything

Yes, I’m a busy mama bear to three little cubs. But, the truth is I was waiting for a big, bright light to shine my way for my last day of my 30 day writing challenge. And it never happened. I expected there to be glorious fireworks or some epiphany at the end of my 30 day challenge. But it didn’t happen. So, I wrote my Standby post to buy some time and waited. Yes, I got busy visiting my parents this past weekend with my three little peanuts in tow. Yes, I’m on a 15 night stretch with my three little angels. Yes, my 7 year old got braces and an expander put in on Monday.

Sometimes the end isn’t shiny and cute. Sometimes there isn’t a big flashy bang at the end. Sometimes, it’s a soft whisper with low light. And the best part is the attitude you keep.

I’m glad I did a 30 day writing challenge. It was outside my comfort zone but very doable. It made me focus and dip into my creative side which can disappear when I get busy.

Hands down, my favorite part was connecting with all the people that I don’t normally get to connect with. We’re all busy and it’s hard to stay connected but writing everyday gave me that link.

So, thank you for your encouragement, messages, private messages, emails and texts! I loved getting to hear your story so much.

Here’s a few things I did that were inspired by my 30 day blogging challenge:49A4B990-14B0-45F5-B98B-E53688D58197I upgraded my yoga membership to unlimited.

Kai and I learned how to tie a real tie because Kai likes to wear ties to school EVERYDAY.193921E0-A097-4D6C-B1F5-E42340107C87Loving their cousin Arista❤️717A52DE-27BA-42BD-9171-D19AC9BD67E9Getting a view from the top.9E1E7757-1EDF-4764-B72D-249EBCCFB704Easter smiles while Kai smiles with his “flex.”

6A81C834-E404-4216-965E-E0E0E9A5C9A0Reunited with my girl band and loving it!12030BD6-6B70-41F0-A63D-26B0899DB7CCSurrounded by my barnacles. My mom calls them “barnies” or barnicles because my kids love to be ATTACHED TO MY BODY at all times. 😍

During my challenge, I would wonder why I’m doing this challenge at all or on the weekend, don’t I have enough stuff to do?! One or two days off would be so nice. Then I’d write, post it and the weekend would pass and I’d forget all about it.

Like many things in life hindsight feels different than when you’re in it with your sleeves pulled up handling it. 

So, my friends my heart is full and my pocket is full of sunshine. Happy Day 30! Seems like yesterday I came up with this lil idea. 

Here’s to handling life with grace, humor and lots of connection.

**Attitude is Everything

 

 

Like The Pilots Say, Standby

Standby for Day 30 of Day 30 of my writing challenge. One of my favorite responses is “standby” via text or face to face. If you know me, then you know where “standby” comes from but other people look confused when I toss the “standby” their way.

Here’s how the standby conversation goes:

On the airplane, the A flight attendant takes care of first class AND feeds the pilots. So, I’ve always loved the initial briefing at the start of any trip. Hi, my name is Dave. Hi Dave, my name is Brandy. Small chit chat ensues similar or exactly like the following; “have we flown together? Maybe? You look really familiar, so do you! Do you live in Portland? No, across the bridge in Vancouver. Cool! Then the pilots head into their office to start their checklist. It never fails, Hey Dave, do you want coffee or something besides water. “STANDBY” is his response. Then I literally standby and wait for the yes or no  response. I don’t know why this was so funny to me when I started flying. It’s so normal to me now but I love to use it outside of the airplane, in the real world. It’s funny using the “STANDBY” as your complete response with people. Give it a try. When someone asks you a question, respond via text with “Standby.” And wait for their response. 😂😎59F4103C-F831-4286-A6C0-584FE35DCA58.jpegSelf Care With A High Noon Hot Tub

Living Yoga Is Amazing

This was my second time participating in the Living Yoga yogathon and it didn’t disappoint. Living Yoga is amazing. It’s a non profit organization in Portland that brings yoga to underserved communities. There are 35 classes a week offering yoga classes to people in mental hospitals, jails and other trauma induced places.

What an amazing rehabilitation idea! Bring yoga to people that really need it. I love this! We heard two intense stories before class tonight that were very touching. One was a woman serving prison time and the other was a man serving a 7 year sentence. Both people were at very low points in life and found yoga while in jail through Living Yoga. Now they are die hard yogi’s and so grateful that they found yoga when they did. Imagine if everyone did yoga and they taught it in schools. 4D47BDB8-7A71-4500-823E-4360DAE7F63B.pngYoga Love

I love my yoga so much. Right now, I’m into the hot yoga but any yoga is so good. It makes my heart sing to think about Living Yoga giving people yoga who might not ordinarily get it. What a great non-profit, and one of my favorites!

Yoga is love my friends.

Seeking Balance As A Single Mom

I didn’t know that life balance while being a mom would be so complicated. I didn’t know that life balance while being a single mom would be SO COMPLICATED. There’s the normal mom guilt and then there’s the single mom guilt. Which goes above and beyond.E33A826D-4DBD-434B-ADC3-57F09A8E9A05.jpegTaking the streetcar to Aunt Tiff’s birthday. This is me operating at 100.IMG_3938Working and making lemonade. 

Nobody sets out to be a single mom but stuff happens…And I wouldn’t pick this situation for my kids EVER but it happened. So I will make the most of it. Being a single mom to three little kids is like a forced break of self care. It’s a few days a month where I’m forced to look after myself for a bit. It’s really strange to go from 100-zero overnight. And it doesn’t get easier just more familiar. Oh yeah, these are the days where I might sleep in, workout and take time to make myself food that I want. Oh hey self care days. “I see you and I’m trying to get along with you. Let’s make the most of it, shall we?”IMG_4038Mom Day-Just woke up, rushing to hot yoga. Wearing Kai’s backpack on the front so I don’t forget to drop it by his school after yoga. All of this happens before I fly to Maui later that day. This is a day where I’m standing for 20 hours. #momlife

I will continue to teach my kids how to improvise and make lemonade because I think it’s important in life. Whether I like it or not, the show must go on.

So to all you moms out there, single or not, GOOD JOB! Keep going, and keep taking care of the mother ship.