Tag Archives: singlemom

Integrity Is Cool

68B24081-E926-456F-980C-058ED3F614EDFamily photo while ice skating and reading 🙂

Since we moved across the river we drive to school. Our 5min walk to school offered a different experience. Nice because of the fresh air before school. But didn’t allow for the deep talks that driving to school provides. It’s a whole different morning routine for us. And the car conversations are priceless. Today we talked about “integrity.” One of our family values and one of my favorite qualities in a person. heart

It started by me asking if anyone knows what integrity means?? Blaize and Pepper raised their hands in the backseat of our tiny kia soul while making moaning sounds while raising their hands. (Basically saying Call on me!) I called on Blaize first and said, what do you think integrity means?? Blaize said  without hesitation. ‘”integrity means to be on time.” Hmmm, being on time is a very important quality and part of having integrity. But does anyone else have an another idea about what integrity means? Pepper is raising her hand and moaning with a “pick me pick me” moaning sound. I called on Pepper and she confidently stated that integrity means “not being late” Hmmm, I get your points about being on time and how that represents respect and is a family value. But I’m looking for a different definition. Kai didn’t even want to try…I said very calmly listen because integrity is a very important quality to mama. You could have heard a pin drop. They were so quiet and intrigued. I said “integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.” Then I gave a few age appropriate examples of being a person with high integrity.

I found this definition after school drop off:

Integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. Having integrity means doing the right thing in a reliable way. It’s a personality trait that we admire, since it means a person has a moral compass that doesn’t waver.

All three kids were mulling over our integrity talk right up until we kissed and hugged goodbye for another school day.

What car conversations are you having with your littles? Love to hear the stories because there’s always something to talk about especially with my three buttercups.

 

Surf Mom

C0DAC492-0958-4373-A253-1220FA013E7BYep. This is me. I’m almost 45 years old.  This is a 9″6 Dick Brewer longboard. I know it looks HUGE. But it treats me well. paddles nice and floats me like a lifejacket. All comfortable benefits when you’re a mom who learns to surf in your 40’s.

I’m a single mom to three young kids. And yes I had all 3 kids out of my own body. This is a question that people (strangers love to ask me) Recently, our female captain asked me if I had all 3 kids? I said yes. Then she went on to ask if I had all of them out of my own body? Yep, I sure did. Then she asked if I did IVF? Nope, they were all natural AND planned. She was so baffled. Thank god, the first officer was done using the bathroom so I could leave the cockpit and quit the 20 personal questions with a female stranger. The questions aren’t usually so intense for a 2-3 minute bathroom break but the questions can be rampant.

JSbBPDElTqu04aZ17CHikQ.jpgWhen the pilots need a break to use the bathroom, the A flight attendant has to enter the cockpit to ensure two people are always in the cockpit. I don’t mind giving breaks to our pilots because they’re people too and need use the bathroom and stand up and stretch their legs. But, the 20 personal questions in 3 minutes is always a bit awkward for me. Plus I’m wearing my 100% polyester flight attendant dress that’s about as flattering as a pair of old navy sweats. Holy crap if she saw my surf picture above she might never stop the personal questions. Haha!

 

I must give the friendly vibe like ask me anything. Haha! I do love the honest conversations especially when they’re interesting for both of us.

Do you have awkward conversations at work or in real life because you are healthy? Love to hear your stories! Connecting with real people and real moms is one of my favorite things.

Seeking Balance As A Single Mom

I didn’t know that life balance while being a mom would be so complicated. I didn’t know that life balance while being a single mom would be SO COMPLICATED. There’s the normal mom guilt and then there’s the single mom guilt. Which goes above and beyond.E33A826D-4DBD-434B-ADC3-57F09A8E9A05.jpegTaking the streetcar to Aunt Tiff’s birthday. This is me operating at 100.IMG_3938Working and making lemonade. 

Nobody sets out to be a single mom but stuff happens…And I wouldn’t pick this situation for my kids EVER but it happened. So I will make the most of it. Being a single mom to three little kids is like a forced break of self care. It’s a few days a month where I’m forced to look after myself for a bit. It’s really strange to go from 100-zero overnight. And it doesn’t get easier just more familiar. Oh yeah, these are the days where I might sleep in, workout and take time to make myself food that I want. Oh hey self care days. “I see you and I’m trying to get along with you. Let’s make the most of it, shall we?”IMG_4038Mom Day-Just woke up, rushing to hot yoga. Wearing Kai’s backpack on the front so I don’t forget to drop it by his school after yoga. All of this happens before I fly to Maui later that day. This is a day where I’m standing for 20 hours. #momlife

I will continue to teach my kids how to improvise and make lemonade because I think it’s important in life. Whether I like it or not, the show must go on.

So to all you moms out there, single or not, GOOD JOB! Keep going, and keep taking care of the mother ship.

Nobody Likes The Wet Spot

This is a REPOST from my old babymama blog. It was created in 2009 when I was pregnant with Kai but no longer available. However, here is one of the few stories I managed to snag.

I remember giggling when my mom first joked about how nobody likes the “wet spot” in the bed. I can’t remember the context of what was said but there’s usually a hint of many things in her jokes. Over the years, I’ve used that saying here and there. If someone spills water on the bed, I’d announce “let’s trade sides” because nobody likes the “wet spot.” Giggle, giggle. Turns out the jokes on me these days.

Me and baby Kai

Baby Kai all snuggled into the ergo where we cruised around together-2010

After being in the stroller for awhile Baby Kai clearly expressed wanting out of his car seat/stroller situation. He’d been in there singing for an hour so who could blame him for wanting a different view. I figured it was time to feed him anyway and popped into a local coffee shop to do the deed. He was ecstatic to get out of the stroller and get a better view of the world. He nose dived for the boob, took some good sucks and then pulled away smiling. My milk started spraying while my nipple saluted everyone. I pulled my tank up and down while he nose dived for the boob again. Eating, smiling and grabbing my face are some of the highlights these days. This little game went on a couple of times on each side before I took my wet boobs back outside. Put the little guy in the Ergo and we continued our walking errands. The show must go on, wet spots and all.

Thus, giving new meaning to the “wet spot” with a baby.

Improvise Is A Staple Attitude At Our House

We celebrate life LOUD and PROUD at our house. The good times roll and roll quickly every.single.day. We have so much fun and get after the good times! No, I’m not supermom-I just like to have fun. And lucky for me I have 3 small kids who LOVE the fun with me. So we get out in the city a lot. We talk a lot, laugh a lot, eat a lot, adventure a lot and improvise a lot.

Yesterday, in the elevator we told one of our best little friends who’s 8 years old about improvising. She was confused because the game plan changed from the park to a hike. I asked Pepper what we do when we don’t get our first choice in life? Pepper said with a straight face and a 5 year old voice (that only a mom and speech therapist can love and understand) “we IMPOOOvise when we don’t get our furst choice. We say, it’s ok because maybeee next time we wheel get our furst choice. And if we don’t, it’s ok we let it go.  We still have fun, she said with a barbie doll smile!”

YES! That’s my girl! That’s my 5 year old miracle baby that I prayed for since I was 12 weeks pregnant.

So, now that I’m a single mom with three little kids in tow I subscribe hard to the “improvise dance.” Sometimes, it happens on a layover at work where I have 8 pairs of underwear for a 2 day trip and NO SOCKS. Oy! Or it happens a lot at the gym when the four of us hustle down the street to LA Fitness. It’s only a few blocks away so we walk. And it’s a chance for me to get my workout and shower in for the day. I pack my shower bag in a frenzy and always forget something. Today, I forgot my shower towel which has happened before. It’s not the first time people, but it’s the first time I’m talking about it. At least I have my razor and shower flip flops I tell myself. I’ve even dried off with paper towels before. #truth

It’s definitely not my choice to dry off with a hand towel at the gym but by golly I’m going to workout and shower any chance I get. Screw the shower towel, the show must go on! I just avoid eye contact hard! Haha!D3C6DC80-7E23-4997-A691-62EEE5BF80F1.pngIt’s so amazing when I hear one of my little peanuts rattle off some good grown up advice about “improvising” in the real world.

It’s a magical mom moment where I breathe in all the goodness that this little person is sharing with the world.

Big Family, Small Herd

Days are long. Years are short. Days are long. Years are short. IMG_3974.jpgKai, getting it at the playground!IMG_0494Pre bedtime snuggle with my girl band! 

Our days are bat shit crazy busy with kids stuff so I keep our afternoons/evenings very low key with a hard emphasis on the bedtime routine. Yes, Blaize and Pepper are 5 years old but they need their sleep. And so do I!

They are not the kind of kids that can stay up til 10pm and be “cool” the next day. I still plan my life around playing and chasing the fun with my kids during the day while honoring our “family sleep schedule.”

More music, more singing, more adventures and sleep, lots of beautiful sleep.

Happy sleeping my friends!

Marinating My Pregnant Belly

The good news is I have this babymama blog and I am the writer and keeper of it-all of it. 
Let’s just leave it at that, shall we.

Marination

In the beginning of my pregnancy with baby Kai, I wondered about stretch marks. Okay AND everything else.  Most of my friends had an idea or two about stretch marks.  A lot of my friends with kids under five walked away without stretch marks.  Randomly, my friends with kids older than five seemed to have stretch marks.  Coincidence, maybe.  But definitely interesting.IMG_26888 months pregnant with Kai, black line and all. 

After doing my own research, I think it’s a crap shoot.  Research suggests that stretch marks are primarily genetic. If that’s true then I’m screwed because it runs in my family. However, the rate at which your belly grows along with nutrition, general health and skin tone can play a factor.

So, I started “lubing” my belly with cocoa butter and shea butter because I heard these are the best natural lubricants.  There really are a million products that claim to prevent stretch marks.  And they are not cheap.  I doubt there is one product which actually prevents stretch marks.  Which is why I chose to use natural oils.  They claim to moisturize and help prevent stretch marks while soothing your stretching skin.  One product I like is called Wild Carrot Herbals from New Seasons and Whole Foods.  It has olive oil, cocoa butter, shea butter, vitamin E and even St. John’s wort along with a few other special ingredients.  Like anything else in life, there’s no guarantee but I figured lubing up couldn’t hurt.  At the very least it minimizes the itching from my growing belly and body.  And it feels good to pamper my skin.

The funny part is that the die hard marinators I knew were two prominent Portland yoga teachers.  They both openly shared their pregnancy/stretch mark experience with me.  One Portland yoga instructor said she gained 60 pounds with her son and “lubed up” five times a day.  And, no stretch marks.  Wow, that sounds amazing.  The second instructor in Portland said that she used oil called Mother’s Special Blend found at Whole Foods.  She would lube up from head to toe and cruise around naked for 20 minutes or so two to three times a day.  She said she didn’t get any stretch marks either.  Lubing up 2-5 times a day and letting it soak in sounded like a big time commitment to me.

So, I’ve been doing what’s realistic for me.  I’m lubing up once a day and try to do the head to toe lube job because it feels so good.  I can’t say I do it everyday but definitely get the belly on a daily basis.  It feels like I’m giving my skin a drink of water.  I like to sing “Marin-nnnnaaation” when I lube up and scoot around naked.

Bottom line is that all things being equal, I’d rather not get stretch marks but know it’s the smallest trade-off for the miracle of life.  To date, I’m packing 30 pounds and still stripe free.  However, I know those victory stripes can show up any ole time so we shall see.

I would love to hear your tips or stories about lubing up?

Please leave a comment below.  Thanks for sharing!

Published March 30, 2010

March 24th, 2018 Update-I still love to lube up and “marinate” after my shower and cruise around naked. Old habits die hard. Haha!