Tag Archives: selfcare

Holding Space For Myself Is My New Sport

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I remember being a little girl and having really big feelings. I can remember grown ups saying they weren’t upset but could feel their “upset” energy. Even though their words said one thing, it didn’t match their actions or energy. And if someone was upset, I remember feeling “their upset” in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know why I felt it when someone else was upset back then. However, I have a name for it now and it’s called being an empath.

Empath: a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.

I still have big feelings AND I’m still really sensitive. I think being an empath has served me well as a mama. I’m able to connect, validate and empathize with my kids in a special way.

This year, I’m learning to protect myself with limits and a boundary bubble. I’ve been setting and practicing boundaries with my kids for a couple of years. We practice respect, grace, courtesy and kind communication at home. Boundaries with adults is much harder I must admit. pShRXZjcRHKxjkicdEjB7QPost Surf Sparkle. Learning to surf, post 3 kids and in my 40’s has been humbling and beautiful all at once.

Being able to hold space for my kids is something I’m very good at. It’s natural and so automatic for me. From the second I found out I was pregnant with all of my peanuts, I’ve been able to prioritize their health and well being. And once they were born, it was on. From a sleep schedule to daily and life decisions that were in the kids’ best interest were and still are an easy choice for me.

However, I found myself agreeing to things I didn’t want to do to accommodate the other adult person’s feelings. Setting boundaries in my adult relationships is hard because I love connection and camaraderie. And I have a very fun public life and job that allows for lots of fun conversation. Sometimes, I will say to the same co-worker 10 times I don’t discuss my personal life at work. I know that people can’t help themselves and are so curious because I do have a wonderful life. But protecting my energy is one way I hold space for myself. And It’s not my job to entertain other adults when I don’t want to. I want to talk about the good stuff, like surfing and how happy and healthy my kids are. And whether or not we’ll open a present on Christmas eve? You know, important holiday traditions.

As I continue (daily) to hold space for myself with adult conversations and adult plans I agree to. I’m breathing into it. Sometimes, it still feels hard to disappoint other adults by not doing exactly what they want. But I know that modeling healthy behavior while speaking clear, open communication is the best teacher for my little people.

And when I see AND hear my kids empathize with one another and other people I know I’m doing good work. The real work. Teaching my littles from a place of integrity and love. For the first time since they were babies my kids have joined me at the the chiropractor. They always came with me as babies (annual exam, dentist, eye appointment) you name it, they came with me to my mandatory appointments. Don’t be jealous-haha! These days I can usual schedule my dentist and annuals while they’re at school. #winning

But I take them to the chiropractor and the gym here and there on purpose. So, they can see me taking care of me.

Mama needs to take care of mama so she can take care of us.                                                                        ~Quote from Blaize, Pepper and Kai on the reg 

 

 

Living Yoga Is Amazing

This was my second time participating in the Living Yoga yogathon and it didn’t disappoint. Living Yoga is amazing. It’s a non profit organization in Portland that brings yoga to underserved communities. There are 35 classes a week offering yoga classes to people in mental hospitals, jails and other trauma induced places.

What an amazing rehabilitation idea! Bring yoga to people that really need it. I love this! We heard two intense stories before class tonight that were very touching. One was a woman serving prison time and the other was a man serving a 7 year sentence. Both people were at very low points in life and found yoga while in jail through Living Yoga. Now they are die hard yogi’s and so grateful that they found yoga when they did. Imagine if everyone did yoga and they taught it in schools. 4D47BDB8-7A71-4500-823E-4360DAE7F63B.pngYoga Love

I love my yoga so much. Right now, I’m into the hot yoga but any yoga is so good. It makes my heart sing to think about Living Yoga giving people yoga who might not ordinarily get it. What a great non-profit, and one of my favorites!

Yoga is love my friends.

In A Love Relationship With Yoga

Yes, I’m in a committed, love relationship with yoga and it’s going great. We like to see each other everyday but sometimes we have to miss a few days. It only makes our reunions that much sweeter when we do see each other. If I could I would see hot yoga everyday but I’ll take what I can get. IMG_4150.jpgChilling in Maui post run and yogaIMG_2893_2Teeny, tiny smile post hot yoga class. Happy on the inside but totally wiped out.

I don’t always want to do yoga or feel like I have time to do the yoga. But love doesn’t flourish without  lots of quality time and attention so I make the time.

I’m not flexible at all…And hot yoga feels really awful for part or all of the class every.single.time. Yesterday I ate a cafe yum bowl about 45 minutes before hot yoga and regretted it throughly for the entire class. What you eat, drink, don’t drink can affect your hot yoga class with the intensity of a full body regret.

Soft And Hard

Soft and hard seems like the best of both worlds doesn’t it? It kinda does to me-strong but sweet. Smart but funny. Nice but adventurous. Passionate but reasonable. It’s a blend of opposites. IMG_4552Throwing my buddy a cold drink last summer. It was a magic THROW if I do say so myself. 🙂 And yes he caught it. 

I think the challenge is in the transition between the soft and hard. It’s the moments between the soft and hard. It’s the grey area, the new stuff or the things that don’t have a “title” yet. That’s where the magic happens. It’s the space in between, the transition part. Holding that space and breathing through it is the key. Not avoiding it. Not getting on amazon to ignore it. Not even hitting the gym to distract it. But literally, watching it like a wave come and go. One of my favorite authors, Eckart Tolle calls it living in the present moment.

I tell my three little kids that one of the secrets to life is learning how calm yourself down naturally and fairly quickly. With a 7 year old little boy and 5 year old identical girl twins, we get to practice this a lot. 🙂

**Life is tossing me a lot of the magic these days and I’m grabbing it by the face. 

Sending love and resilience to you and your people.

Root Down To Rise Up

This. Is. Amazing. Root down to rise up. They say this all the time in hot yoga and it resonates with me in every single way. IMG_3087Last summer-chilling at the splash pad for a quick picture

Physically, I know that you must build yourself up from the bottom to the top through the middle to feel good.

Mentally, I know that you must put your own oxygen mask on first before serving others.

Spiritually, I know you must believe in something bigger than you to be humble and resilient in this wild world.

Mom-ally, I know I must lead by example and say what I mean and mean what I say to raise, healthy, happy well adjusted kids.

Personally, I know I am accountable to myself, for my actions, decisions and words to grow and evolve as a person.

Why are some days so hard? And why does it look so easy for everyone else on the social media? 

Well, my friends it’s all about the swan.

Like my grandma Ardie used to say, SWIM and PADDLE like crazy (under the water) and SMILE with POISE and dignity on top of the water. Then REPEAT the very next day and everyday thereafter. Also, make your bed everyday. That’s important too. As a mom to 3 little humans, making my bed may be the only thing I actually finish today. So make that bed!

I write and share on this mom blog because no matter what it looks like on the Instagram or the Facebook, everyone is paddling like crazy under water just like you and me. Of course, I enjoy the pretty part on top, who doesn’t?! But, I like the real stuff and talk about the “underwater part” which makes the pretty part even bette if you ask me.

Now, roll on summer so I can work on my kiddie, splash park tan. 🙂

Aloha Friday Stamina

“Days are long, years are short.” I’ve heard this saying a lot lately and I get it. The days are long as a mom to 3 little kiddos. Our days start early and we go hard all day! The Fridays when I wear my mom hat all day and fly that night are the really long days. I’m not complaining but it takes some serious STAMINA. Not to mention the 3 hour time change (backwards) to the mix. My watch confirms why I’m so sleepy on these special mom Fridays-standing for 19 hours and walking 25,000 steps. Wow! IMG_5499Fresh as a daisy before boarding. Still have 9-10 hours left of socializing in me. 🙂IMG_1972_2Post flight debrief-lipstick, hat but no eye contact. I’ve got nothing left. Haha!