Tag Archives: momof3

Small Talk Is Not My Favorite Talk

I can’t remember if I used to be good at small talk. These days, I’d rather be in uncomfortable silence than be forced to engage in small talk. Maybe, it’s the single mom thing where I have very little time to waste and zero time for bs. Maybe it’s a life thing but small talk is one of my least favorite things to do. Let’s talk about real sh*t. And if not, let’s just stand next to each other and smile…IMG_3852Real talk doesn’t have to negative and I prefer that it isn’t. There are so many juicy, positive and funny things to talk about.

Recently, after yoga I was chatting with the instructor about class. Which quickly turned into a conversation about self acceptance and self love. Which quickly turned into her sharing her recent trip to a nude beach and baring her chest. She told me how freeing it was and how good the water felt without her top on. Wow, good for you, that’s awesome! I loved you before this conversation, now I really love you. 🙂

But it get’s better… A young girl we both know came walking by and joined in on our “real talk.” She took it to the next level with all sorts of real topics and quickly. She introduced the idea that the size of his nose is likely to match the size of his…

Yep, that’s what she said. She claimed that it’s almost always true for her. I laughed and thought about it. Hmmm, maybe there is similarity?!

She also suggested that single guys carry a business card stating his “stats.’ I laughed and agreed that knowing what you’re getting into before you spend months dating would be nice. And it only seems fair. One of my favorite funny lines is, l”et’s just see what we’re working with, shall we?” I’ve actually talked about a little button that guys could wear on their tshirt or lapel that stated the info. The buttons would read SMALL, MEDIUM and LARGE. A  facebook friend recently mentioned this would be tricky because guys would be “rating” themselves. Exactly was my response to his concerned comment. That’s why there would only be three basic categories. And anyone in their right mind would understand the three categories and their “self proclaimed range.”

This is my kinda talk. The real stuff. The funny stuff. And the stuff that could eventually “make or break” a relationship. #justasyin

 

 

It’s Official, I Love To Eat

This is so true. Always has been. Except, I prefer having someone cook for me. Maybe, it’s cooking for one that makes me want to eat out or maybe it’s being a mom? Dunno? Either way, I’ve never enjoyed someone cooking for me more than I do right now. I mean, if we’re talking about the crazy hot matrix, then someone who can cook would raise their number by at least 1.5 points in my book. Just sayin.

IMG_0676_2Soaking up Portland sunshine with my girls. On our way to PIZZA. 

 

If you haven’t seen the crazy, hot matrix-you must watch it! I love it! If you laugh and love it, then we can be friends. If it makes you angry or defensive then I don’t want to know you.

Maybe, I appreciate food more than ever because I am constantly in the kitchen at home “feeding, cleaning up and then feeding again.” Taking care of my little people is a full time job that I love but boy it’s a lot of “wet hands” in the kitchen.

I started getting lean cuisines because sometimes a hot meal with zero clean up is really nice. Actually, it’s frickin awesome! And it’s even cooler on the airplane. When I pack my lean cuisines and cook them in the galley it’s pretty rad. It smells so good. And it’s all about perspective. My spaghetti lean cuisine was the envy of all the flight attendants and a couple of first class passengers. Something vulnerable and real about being hungry on an airplane. Basically, you have nothing to eat, there’s nothing to buy AND we’re 38,000 feet in the sky.

Maybe I’ll bring back my love for oranges on an airplane. Before I had kids, I used to eat an orange on the airplane and loved it. Then I had kids and was busy pumping breastmilk for years on the plane.

Well my airplane pumping days are long gone (thank God!) so bring out the oranges!

My Favorite Passengers Are Really Cool People

I meet a lot of people at work and in life for that matter. Rarely do I meet people that inspire me with my mouth open. But it’s been happening a lot lately. One of the reasons I love people and love to travel is one of the many reasons I’m a flight attendant when I don’t have my mom hat on.IMG_0742Wearing my favorite apron

My favorite passengers in 2017 happened close together, which is unusual. Both were in first class and one was from Eugene-go figure?

One woman was in her 60’s and had an attitude and energy that’s hard to explain. She was awesome! I wanted to chat with her alnight. She was cool with my airplane jokes and was a school counselor for her JOB. She was looking for a new gig and applied as a flight attendant within the past year. Like many of the people I get to work with I would love to work with her. She was with her husband and he was on the aisle but felt our love connection so kept his pie hole closed. Haha!

Another favorite passenger was a woman who introduced herself to me in main cabin last Spring. I’m hoping that she sees this blogpost and reaches out to me. She found me online years ago when I was pregnant with my momo twins and hospitalized. She followed me on my blog and recognized me on the airplane?! Whaat?! It’s a small world.

She also had twins and experienced a high risk pregnancy (not momo twins but had complications of her own) As I was cruising down the aisle pouring the diet coke, she introduced herself, briefly told me how she knew me and then said she’s taking this solo trip to get her “head straight.” She was on the divorce train and said she admired and felt strength from reading my old blog. The amazing part to me is that she had the balls to say hi and share what she did with me from the WINDOW SEAT! She had a shy demeanor with a quiet voice, she had two strangers sitting next to her and going through a major life transformation. Wow! I love “real” people who are trying their best to make real connections.

She asked if we could get a coffee sometime and I said, sure! I would love to get a coffee with any twin mom, ANYTIME.

Tinder Tales From A Single Mom-Part 2

So, my second experience with tinder was with someone that I had known for a long time. Back in the day when I was known as crazyspingirl and was single, he would come to my spin classes. He was married so it was always a very platonic, easy going friendship without any funny business. I was 30 years old, taught a ton of spin classes all over Portland and squeezed in match.com dates like a super hero. I figured online dating was a numbers game, only 30 yrs old and had a lot of stamina for the dating game. I used to say that I didn’t expect to meet my boyfriend on match.com but maybe make a friend. Then end up having a connection with one of his friends at a barbecue. Seemed to make perfect sense back then but sounds kinda naive now that I write it down?! #realtalkIMG_0955Me dating in my 30’s-focused and dedicated to the process of landing on that teeny, tiny little floatie.IMG_0954.JPGGood visual of me online dating in my 30’s. SO MANY DATES so I’d squeeze em in.

My divorce became final after a very long process. I won’t get into the details because it’s private. But, I didn’t have my kiddos for Christmas that first year in 2014 and was scared to be without them. I was elated when I reconnected with my “old spin friend.” He was also divorced and didn’t have his kids for Christmas that year either. At the time, I didn’t realize this but now I understand this is HUGE. Opposite parenting schedules can kill the dating deal right out of the gate. So similar parenting schedules can be a huge bonus.IMG_0907My current attitude about dating. My face says it all, if you get my drift. Haha! 

Anyway, we decided to see a movie and catch up. We went to the movie alright, but I don’t remember seeing it. Yep, it was one of those movie situations. Where you’re in the movie theatre and it seems like you’re alone and you give zero f*cks like you were 16 years old.

Which reminds me of how judgemental I was in my 20’s and 30’s. I remember seeing “moms” getting after it on layovers and thinking how sad they were. Wow, they’re MOMS and they’re getting wild and crazy! What’s wrong with them?! I also thought (and still do) those mini van driving moms are scary drivers. And then I had kids…Even though I don’t get wild on my layovers OR drive a mini van I can relate to those moms on so many levels. Being a mom is like nothing else. You’re scrutinized by your little kids 24/7 and judged in public all the time especially by people who don’t have kids. Now, I understand  there’s a lot going on inside a mom’s car. Little kids are needy people-yo! Sometimes, they’re happy and sometimes they’re wildly upset. Those mini van driving mom are trying to drive while simultaneously handing out snacks and keeping the peace. Being a mom is so amazing but not without it’s daily challenges. So, those moms that “let go” a little on their layovers- I get you girl! And I don’t judge you one bit! 🙂

 

Back to that tinder number 2 story. The make out movie date was my wild mom moment. And boy did I pay for it for days later… First, I have sensitive skin and hadn’t kissed anyone in awhile. So, my face was pretty red and raw after the movie. I figured it was just a random thing that would fade. Oh no, my face lost about 7 layers of skin the next day. It was so sore and looked like I had been in a skateboarding accident and landed on my face. It looked horrible and felt even worse. It was so far gone that make up didn’t even help.

We dated for about 2 months and had fun but his 5’oclock shadow was even rough and never went away. My face sort of got used to it but not really. And I was always afraid of kissing too long for fear that another “skateboarding accident face” would develop.

It reminds me of the prize down below, you never know what you’re going to get. I mean it is a TOTAL MYSTERY until it’s not. Haha! It doesn’t matter how tall you are or how big your hands and feet are, none of it matters. #justsayin

My point it, sometimes the facial hair is rough or strangely soft but you never know until you test drive it during a movie.

Happy dating my friends, may the people be honest, and the laughs be frequent.

 

Tinder Tales From A Single Mom

dSo….Where do I start? Whenever I read a magazine I start from the back. That must say something about me kind of like astrology. The people that read magazines from the back? Anyway, I first learned about Tinder from my sister at Edgefield. It was the summer of 2014 and I was seeing one of my girl crushes-Sarah McLachlan (thanks mom!). We were sitting outside on a beautiful summer night and my sister started “swiping” on her tinder I was horrified and interested at the same time. Haha! Most everyone has seen it by now but a big red NOPE pops across the page if you swipe left on someone’s picture. They don’t know you “noped” them though. If you swipe right, then a green LIKE pops up across the page. If that person you liked already liked you, then it’s a match! And you can text away via the tinder app. It’s long and arduous at best. At worst it’s crickets while you both wait for the other person to text first. If you like that person and it’s not immediately a match either they haven’t seen you yet or they didn’t like you. You just don’t’ know and really don’t care. The choices are overwhelming. Seems like everyone is on there. But not gunna lie, there’s SO MUCH WEIRD on there! I used to compare online dating to shopping at Ross. You have to go through so much sh*t to find one decent top. And usually I walk out of there exhausted and empty handed. IMG_3499This is how it feels for a girl when you start online dating. So MANY choices coming at you hard!  (just trying not to lose my hat) Haha! Most of the choices aren’t great but you take a second look and do the “weeelllllll, maybe?!” #truth

The best part about tinder for me is that no one can message you unless you both like each other! Back in the day when I did match. com and ok cupid, I would get inundated with messages from people that didn’t fit my criteria at all. I would get long, personal emails from people living in Florida. Long, life stories if you will and I’d get sucked into their random story before I noticed that they lived in Florida or worse they were still married. Wait, what?! Sometimes, I think boobs are the only prerequisite for a lot of guys. Sad, but true. Sure, the attention might feel flattering for a hot minute and then it gets creepy and overwhelming very fast. So, that’s why I prefer “the tinder” as I like to call it.

The second best thing about tinder for me is that you don’t have to be out at the bars to meet other single people. Or at least sort of single people. There are so many “open relationships” these days in Portland. It almost seems like tattoo sleeves, cool and really common. I’m old school and think that one guy and one girl is plenty for me. Of course, I would love to meet someone at yoga or Trader Joes but I’m not holding my breath.

So, like the rest of the single people I suck it up, swallow my pride and make my tinder profile. At least I use my “real name.” #justsayin

The last thing I like about tinder is that its not a huge time suck. You can look a little or a lot and feel like you’re “dating” or at least putting yourself out there.

Sooooo. Back to the tinder tales. My first tinder date a couple years ago was a high school chemistry teacher. We had a lot of mutual friends on facebook so it seemed pretty safe. It’s always tough to be the first one and especially after a divorce. I know that I run from anyone newly divorced as I don’t want to be their “first date.”

We saw each other probably 8 times over 2 months.  We always met up at restaurants so don’t think I ever rode in his car? Looking back, I definitely kept him at arm’s length. Again, being the first one sucks. Haha! He was pretty uptight now that I think back about him. He was in his 40’s, never married and no kids. One time I wanted to sit outside at a restaurant and it was nice but the patio chairs were wet. I offered for him to sit on my jacket and he accepted it. Haha! Oh dear! I made a quick joke about being a mom and can deal with a wet seat. Not sure why those uptight ones like me but they usually do. And I’m NOT talking about the kids’ dad-no one is talking about him just to be clear.

When I first met the chemistry teacher, he met his last girlfriend on tinder and she was from Medford.  Long distance was the demise of their relationship-she had kids so wasn’t moving and he loved his job in Portland. One Sunday afternoon, I was out for a trail run. He had told me that he was going on a hike with his friend “John.” Anyway, the last time I saw him he was on that hike with his friend “John” but “John” had boobs and “Medford hair.” His eyes were as big as saucers as I ran by him and his Medford girlfriend holding hands. I’m not sure who was more surprised me or him?

 

Hot Lips Pizza Is Our Favorite

Dying to share my Christmas Tree story and give credit to the 5 grown men who grunted it out with me. But, life happened today-hard and fast. Kinda like a Monday and always  with my 3 little ducks in tow. Christmas tree story soon. I suppose it isn’t that unusual because I’ve been hustling a real Christmas tree by myself for as long as I can remember.

The difference is that when the kids were little, I could strap them into the carseats and onto me with the ergo. This year, they were running around like wild animals at my annual holiday work party. Still can’t believe how good our tree worked out with a few extra helpers. It’s an 8 foot tree that “we” strapped to the top of my tiny car during a huge rain storm.IMG_0722_2.jpgJulian sporting Kai’s blue gloves and Kai loving his new white gloves.

After 10 days and nights in a row with my little people, we’re still gettin the fun daily! We hit the streets for a romp in the park and to hear the singing tree in Jameson Square again. So awesome! Then we were craving hot lips pizza and Kai had some gloves he wanted to give the pizza guy. His name is Julian and he’s a super cool guy and listened to Kai’s stories with great enthusiasm. They traded stories (mostly Kai talked and Julian listened) and gloves. Kai gave him a pair of his coveted blue gloves while Julian slipped Kai a pair of Hot Lips white gloves. I love this town so much!

IMG_0717Julian, do you want to be my Man-Nanny? Haha!IMG_0733.jpgGood times. Classic Starbucks bathroom poop party. 

Of course, it would be weird for my little ducks to make the 10 minute walk home without an urgent poop alert. They love to poop in public. Pepper claimed she had to poop so bad about 2 minutes after leaving hot lips pizza where there are lots of bathrooms. Oh well, we shamelssly charged into Starbucks, asked for the bathroom code and handled it. At least we didn’t have the double stroller in there. All that space for Kai to sit on the bathroom floor and enjoy his new gloves. 🙂

 

Santa Flys In On An Airplane

Yep. Santa flys in on an airplane complete with Mrs. Claus and a scad of elves in tow. This is my favorite part about our holiday kids party. Yes, there are bouncy houses, kids games, with arts and crafts. This year there were even hot cocoa stations with the usual cotton candy station but nothing is as cool as Santa cruisin’ in on that airplane if you ask me. IMG_0425Santa coming to high five the kids before he mounts his throne for photosIMG_0423.jpgMy little ducks watching Santa arrive! IMG_0372.jpgPepper gettin’ it on the bouncy houses! IMG_0428Kai fished like crazy this year!IMG_0449.jpgChristmas 2017. Kai is always so BUSY during pictures. Haha

I never even hesitate to sit on Santa’s lap with my kids. I don’t know why but I realized not many other parents pop onto Santa’s lap with their kids?! Sure, I heard Santa laugh and grunt a little when all of us snuggled him for the picture. All I could think of was how hot he must be. With the beard, the suit, the boots and the hat UNDERNEATH all those people for hours. Haha! Poor Santa!

Stop by tomorrow for the story behind our Christmas tree. It took 5 grown men to help us but we did it! We have a real Christmas tree in our apartment and I’m so happy.

Working Out is Hard For Everyone

Working out is hard! Oh so hard.
Don’t feel like working out? Me either.
Too tired to workout today? me too.
Have a sick kid at home and can’t manage to get it together for a home workout? Me too.
Too busy to workout? Me too.
Don’t feel like walking in the cold, wet rain with your 3 little kids in tow to the gym. Me either.IMG_3403Pepper in her tangled dress getting her exercise

But…I do it anyway. I play the same game as everyone else and toss the idea of “not” working out for the above reasons and so many other good, legitimate reasons. But I squeeze that workout or yoga in anyway.IMG_3230Blaize in her cowboy boots gettin’ it on the EFX

People say I’m lucky because I like to workout. Wait, what?! Lucky, I wouldn’t say that. I workout because I like the afterglow. I like my experiences, my thoughts, my attitude, my patience, my food choices and my sleep after I workout. It’s a decision to be healthy and fit and it is rarely convenient or even sounds like fun to me. #realtalk

I will even take it a step further and say it may be harder for me (this is where I piss people off) Not because I’m a single mom and have my 3 small little people most of the time. It’s harder for me because my results aren’t visible and are hard to track. When you’re trying to lose 10, 20 or 50 pounds that’s easy to see results. And as long as you’re consistent with exercise and food, those pounds usually come off fairly quickly to celebrate regularly.

First time in probably 7 years, where I’m not trying to lose the “baby weight.” And, I’m not trying to squeeze into a ridiculously tight and uncomfortable New Year’s Eve dress. Hoping I’m in my swimsuit and local flip flops somewhere on new year’s eve. My fitness goals are different today than what they’ve been in the past…These days, I’m focusing on the “Triple S’s” which are part of my new normal.

My triple S’s are: STAMINA, STRENGTH AND STRETCH. I can kinda measure it with weights and flexibility but forget the scale. As the scale stays the same my clothes get baggier and baggier. Took me awhile to tap back on the cardio queen stuff that I innately love.

I want my 3 little people to grow up thinking water is the preferred drink and outdoor activities and exercise is part of the daily schedule. Blaize stated that we’re getting exercise while we lugged 8 grocery bags from the car, to the elevator and down the hall to our house today. Yep, we sure are!

So when you think, I don’t have time, energy or whatever other good reason you can think of, think of me… Think of me, hustling my 3 little people out the door with their water bottles, snacks and sassy attitudes to walk to the gym. Sure, it’s only a few blocks away (thank God!) But someone always cries when they don’t get to hold my hand for the walk. Real crying with real tears people… One day, I’m sure I’ll look back fondly on the intense love my littles have for me. Taking turns holding mama’s hand is so hard!

My point is, that when I’m on the airplane in my tight, little costume dress it may not “look” like I struggle to workout or make the time to go to the gym but I promise I do. I’m just like you-trying to get out the door to get my workout in is half the battle. Often my body drags my mind to the gym. So strange but very true. Muscle memory is real. Perseverance, and commitment to myself and kids to be a healthy mom wins every.single.time.IMG_9080Maui Surf Session with my hot mama!

This is 42 my friends and it’s different than I planned but it kinda looks okay. It’s not perfect and it’s not for free 😂but nothing worthwhile ever is.

Friends, stay healthy and active even when you don’t want to. 🙂

Getting Started Is The Hardest Part

I’ve never considered myself an underdog. Ever. Although some may have seen it or thought it, I never did. These days, I consider myself highly outnumbered as a single mama to 3 little humans. I remember waterskiing as a kid and my parents telling me that the newest, nicest ski boat or equipment doesn’t always make the best skier. Growing up, we always had everything we needed and skied our butts off early into Springtime and deep into Fall. Not to mention our annual January 1st polar bear waterski event in Oregon every year. Burr. Yes, my parents still chase the fun and adventures like crazy!  If anything it made me stronger. Sometimes stronger than I feel like being. Just sayin. #truth
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1997, lake days were the best!
On those days where I’m yearning to thrive  and I’m not in the mood, I get going. Because half the battle is getting to the gym. Or getting to the yoga class or starting that run. As I recommit to being the best version I can for myself, my kids, my family, my friends and my community, I focus on the going. Push that start button…
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Pepper, Blaize and me cruising the waterfront this summer
I definitely have my days where it feels like I’m a salmon swimming upstream with Black Bears everywhere. Crap! This mom life stuff is a lot of work. Yep, it definitely is. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. Sometimes, it doesn’t look pretty with red lipstick. Often, it looks like mom is wearing her jammie’s all day.  That’s what Blaize and Pepper said to me this morning on the walk to school. “Mom, why are you still wearing your jammie’s?!” Haha! Well, school mornings come hard and fast for your mom. Awake by 6:40am, 7:30am bus pickup with an 8am speech therapy lesson in tow. I don’t always have time to get dressed. But, I always have time to give you princess braids. #momlife
Setting aside the jokes, I’m lucky to grow up with solid parents who taught us even stronger values. Learning at a young age that it’s not for free and the show must go on-one of my mom’s favorite of many quotes! And how right she was. After a good chat with my mom friend in my half jammie outfit this morning, I focused on the “get going” part.” And here I am at the gym, sweating (thriving) like a dog and living the dream.
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Yep. That’s my parents, always chasing the fun! Mimi and Grandpa Mike wheelbarrow racing with Pepper and Blaize. 🙂
May you remember the “get going” part my friends even when you’re busy and it’s hard to get out of those jammie’s.

Thrive, It’s My New Normal

Talking to one of my besties on the phone this morning about life and she said to me at the end of the call “you’ll be fine.” She’s very empathetic, very pregnant and never dismissive of my feelings. Rarely do I hear those three words from her. But, I heard them today and I’m running with it. I will be fine. I know this. But I want to be fine and much more than that. I want to thrive physically, mentally and with my three little ducks in tow.IMG_7935.JPGMy mini me’s and me striking a pose.

I’ve always wanted more than fine or average. I’ve always sucked the passion out of everything I was interested in. Whether it was spinning. I love spin classes!-I’ll teach them for 17 years. DONE. Whether it was running. I love running and will run 6 marathons including Boston. DONE. Buy a house before I turn 30 regardless if I have a partner. DONE. Have kids and breastfeed those little monsters until they want to quit. DONE. DONE and DONE. Now, as my three little munchkins are 4, 4 and 7 years old, I’m seeking the next level as a mom and a person. I want to thrive. And I want to thrive with my kids in our family and our life.

First, I’m seeking more balance. More self care. More individual and ground quality time with my kids. I’m seeking more fulfilling workouts instead of just putting in the daily 45 minutes. Now, I want some quality and I started a new fitness routine that focuses on “strength and length.” Cardio is still what I crave but like I teach my kids moderation is key.IMG_8488.jpgChilling at pdx playdate in the pearl while my kids get their romp on. 

As I enter the weekend, I’m focusing on thriving. If you’ve been thinking about switching it up for one reason or another, I hope you’ll join me. Let’s do something different this season and see how far we can go. Aloha Friday my friends:)