Tag Archives: flightattendant

Instagram Why Are You So Weird

I have to talk about it because it’s happening all the time and really weird. And people that do instagram don’t know what I’m talking about until I show them. Why, oh why? Haha! I like the instagram, feels like how facebook was 10 years ago. Pictures without all the political bs. Surprisingly, you can write a lot under your instagram pictures. #justsayin

And when I publish my book, Instagram will be a great place to spread the love.IMG_3175Taking a break from the instagram weird and working out in the hotel gym. Always me in the gym and one bald pilot. Haha!

Instagram has a texting or DM component (direct message) for all my non-instagram people. However, there’s a second tier of direct messages under Direct and titled REQUESTS. These messages under REQUESTS requests are creepy. I have a revolving list of 20-30 different randoms wanting to “chat.” I don’t follow these jokers so they can’t direct message me-they can only “request” the DM. Some guys are basic with opening lines of “Hi and Hey.” Then it goes downhill from there really fast. Pictures are offered. No, I’ve never accepted one-a message or a picture.

Who knows if they are real people or robots? For all I know they’re catfishing on Instagram. I can block them especially when they get cranky and send angry direct message requests from the second tier. But really, who has time to block the freaks. Ignore them and they’ll go away is how I play it. They can delete their direct message request and a new round of freaks appears in the second tier of messaging. WTF?

Tell me, do you have a line of creepers on Instagram trying to “request” direct messages with you?

“Instagram, why you so weird?”

Aloha Friday Stamina

“Days are long, years are short.” I’ve heard this saying a lot lately and I get it. The days are long as a mom to 3 little kiddos. Our days start early and we go hard all day! The Fridays when I wear my mom hat all day and fly that night are the really long days. I’m not complaining but it takes some serious STAMINA. Not to mention the 3 hour time change (backwards) to the mix. My watch confirms why I’m so sleepy on these special mom Fridays-standing for 19 hours and walking 25,000 steps. Wow! IMG_5499Fresh as a daisy before boarding. Still have 9-10 hours left of socializing in me. 🙂IMG_1972_2Post flight debrief-lipstick, hat but no eye contact. I’ve got nothing left. Haha!

Surfer Girls In Maui

IMG_9080Longboard surfing with my mom!

It’s amazing how much fun you can have in 24hours when you focus on “the fun.” I think short term travel vs. long term travel are two different animals. I’ve done both and like both. However, as a mom I don’t want to be away from my bebes for too long. So, I squeeze in the fun whenever I can. So much fun to be had on a layover!

Maui I Love You

I love my layovers, especially my Maui layovers. I was so lucky this past weekend with this little guy. He came right up to me, popped his head out of the water and it was love at first sight. IMG_4167ChillingIMG_4162Friendly, little guy saying hiIMG_4163Hard eye contact. Haha!IMG_E4176And, he’s off.

Wow this was the best turtle encounter I’ve ever had in Maui. 

Maui, I love you!

 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

IMG_4236Post Red Eye Flight

I rallied to celebrate the luck of the Irish. Sheppards pie-check, guinness-check, my favorite Irish bar-check and a second location to a fancy place in the VIP section with my high tops and white v-neck-OY! check, check. Ended the night with a burger and fries right before bed. It was a good, long day.  IMG_4238Thanks for the cozy hoodie Squires!

Hey Girl

This is the song we sing to each other!

Hey Girl by Lady Gaga. It’s a family favorite. We use pens as microphones and we get into it! We sing it loud and proud. IMG_3969Yes, they like to swing while holding my hand… There’s a timer and then I switch sides to hold hands with Blaize. This.Is.Love

Hey Girl, hey girl if you lose your way, just know that I got you! Blaize, Pepper and I sing this to each other as Kai silently watches with big eyes. Haha

Hey Girl, we can make it easy if we lift each other. We don’t need to give up on one other. Singing with my girls is so awesome!

It’s beautiful and so sweet.

I Love Boats

IMG_2787Steering the catamaran in Honolulu

Yep, I love boats. That’s all.

Identical Twins Are So Special

Being a mom to Blaize and Pepper (identical twins) is so special AND keeps me on my toes every. single. day.

When you are 25 or 45 years old and tell me, ohhhh I always wanted twinssss. I don’t know what to say to you and ususally say nothing. I would like to send you to this blog post so you can get a taste of the real situation with identical twins.

No, they are very different in personality.

Yes, they are extremely competitive with one another.

No, they STILL don’t like to share me or my attention with each other.

Yes, I can tell them apart every time. From their normal voices to their whiney voices.

No, I didn’t know raising identical twins and a 7 year old would be so awesome! 🙂

Yes, I wanted to be a mom my whole life with 4 kids in tow.  But I always thought one baby at a time would be how it would happen.

No, I’m not supermom. I’m just a mom who loves my three little people as much as you love your singleton.

Yes, my momo pregnancy rocked me with weekly Dr. appts to listen for heartbeats starting at 12 weeks pregnant. Complete with an emergency trip to San Francisco for fetal heart surgery and a long ass, scary hospital stay followed by 32 days in the Nicu.

No, I don’t have stretch marks even though I gained 52 pounds.

Yes, I’m lucky. 🙂

No, I didn’t like tandem breastfeeding and neither did they.

Yes, breastfeeding 3 and 4 pound premature twins with nipple shields at the hospital in the Nicu is the opposite of fun.

No, I didn’t sleep long enough to enter REM-too busy pumping 12 times a day for way too long.

Yes, I was “sleep deprived

No, I didn’t want to give them formula.

Yes, I gave them breastmilk AND formula.

No, I didn’t like giving formula but was breastfeeding around the clock because tandem breastfeeding wasn’t cool for any of us.

Yes, my sweetest girlfriend snapped me out of the “exclusively breastfeeding obsession” (that many women sign up for) by saying “Bran, you’re not getting a medal for exclusively breastfeeding twins.” Let. it. go. I supplemented with formula proudly after that talk with her in her L.A. closet. Haha!

Yes, I would do it again in a second. Yes, having all three of my kids are the best thing I’ve ever done. Yes my mandatory c-sections weren’t that bad after all, even though I wanted a natural birth with no drugs. C-sections are pretty okay of you ask me. Shrug. Giggle IMG_9574Do you see the ear grab?! There was an eye gouge photo after this one. Sharing mom is soooo hard. Especially for identical twins. #justsayin

 

Small Talk Is Not My Favorite Talk

I can’t remember if I used to be good at small talk. These days, I’d rather be in uncomfortable silence than be forced to engage in small talk. Maybe, it’s the single mom thing where I have very little time to waste and zero time for bs. Maybe it’s a life thing but small talk is one of my least favorite things to do. Let’s talk about real sh*t. And if not, let’s just stand next to each other and smile…IMG_3852Real talk doesn’t have to negative and I prefer that it isn’t. There are so many juicy, positive and funny things to talk about.

Recently, after yoga I was chatting with the instructor about class. Which quickly turned into a conversation about self acceptance and self love. Which quickly turned into her sharing her recent trip to a nude beach and baring her chest. She told me how freeing it was and how good the water felt without her top on. Wow, good for you, that’s awesome! I loved you before this conversation, now I really love you. 🙂

But it get’s better… A young girl we both know came walking by and joined in on our “real talk.” She took it to the next level with all sorts of real topics and quickly. She introduced the idea that the size of his nose is likely to match the size of his…

Yep, that’s what she said. She claimed that it’s almost always true for her. I laughed and thought about it. Hmmm, maybe there is similarity?!

She also suggested that single guys carry a business card stating his “stats.’ I laughed and agreed that knowing what you’re getting into before you spend months dating would be nice. And it only seems fair. One of my favorite funny lines is, l”et’s just see what we’re working with, shall we?” I’ve actually talked about a little button that guys could wear on their tshirt or lapel that stated the info. The buttons would read SMALL, MEDIUM and LARGE. A  facebook friend recently mentioned this would be tricky because guys would be “rating” themselves. Exactly was my response to his concerned comment. That’s why there would only be three basic categories. And anyone in their right mind would understand the three categories and their “self proclaimed range.”

This is my kinda talk. The real stuff. The funny stuff. And the stuff that could eventually “make or break” a relationship. #justasyin

 

 

It’s Official, I Love To Eat

This is so true. Always has been. Except, I prefer having someone cook for me. Maybe, it’s cooking for one that makes me want to eat out or maybe it’s being a mom? Dunno? Either way, I’ve never enjoyed someone cooking for me more than I do right now. I mean, if we’re talking about the crazy hot matrix, then someone who can cook would raise their number by at least 1.5 points in my book. Just sayin.

IMG_0676_2Soaking up Portland sunshine with my girls. On our way to PIZZA. 

 

If you haven’t seen the crazy, hot matrix-you must watch it! I love it! If you laugh and love it, then we can be friends. If it makes you angry or defensive then I don’t want to know you.

Maybe, I appreciate food more than ever because I am constantly in the kitchen at home “feeding, cleaning up and then feeding again.” Taking care of my little people is a full time job that I love but boy it’s a lot of “wet hands” in the kitchen.

I started getting lean cuisines because sometimes a hot meal with zero clean up is really nice. Actually, it’s frickin awesome! And it’s even cooler on the airplane. When I pack my lean cuisines and cook them in the galley it’s pretty rad. It smells so good. And it’s all about perspective. My spaghetti lean cuisine was the envy of all the flight attendants and a couple of first class passengers. Something vulnerable and real about being hungry on an airplane. Basically, you have nothing to eat, there’s nothing to buy AND we’re 38,000 feet in the sky.

Maybe I’ll bring back my love for oranges on an airplane. Before I had kids, I used to eat an orange on the airplane and loved it. Then I had kids and was busy pumping breastmilk for years on the plane.

Well my airplane pumping days are long gone (thank God!) so bring out the oranges!